30 Old 30 Young
30 Old 30 Young explores the fascinating contrasts of life in your thirties through the eyes of two cousins living vastly different paths. Join us as we navigate the uncertainties of adult life, from career choices to lifestyle decisions, through both a globetrotting adventurer's and a family-focused perspective.
Our main episodes dive deep into real-life challenges facing thirty-somethings today, while our mini-episodes break down the three best and worst aspects of pivotal adult life scenarios.
Whether you're questioning your life choices, seeking perspective, or just wanting to hear honest conversations about adulting, this podcast offers authentic insights into the beautiful chaos of your third decade. New episodes released weekly, featuring raw discussions about career transitions, relationships, mental health, and the endless quest for work-life balance. Your thirties don't come with a manual - but this podcast comes pretty close.
30 Old 30 Young
Valentine’s in Your 30s: Relationships, Independence & How It’s Changed
Valentine’s Day hits differently in your 30s! Gone are the over-the-top gestures and pressure-filled dates of your 20s.
Whether you're in a relationship or single, the day takes on new meaning. In this episode, we explore how our views on love, dating, and self-worth have evolved.
From navigating romance with more intention to embracing singlehood without stigma, we unpack the shift from external validation to genuine self-love. Because let’s be real—whether you're celebrating with a partner or treating yourself, love starts with you!
Tune in for laughs, reflections, and a reminder that Valentine’s isn’t just about romance—it’s about appreciating yourself too.
Thanks for Listening, find more content at our Instagram @30old30young
Two cousins taking different life paths discuss the highs and lows of being in your 30s, and nothing is off limits. This is life in your 30s. This is 30 old, 30 young.
Speaker 2:Hi everyone, welcome to our Valentine's Day episode. This is the 3rd of February today. I'm in Italy as we speak.
Speaker 3:And I am not. I am probably in Wolverhampton or somewhere just as lovely, but this is a shout out to anybody listening that hasn't got the presents yet. Sort it out, it's right around the corner. I know you think you've got time, you haven haven't, and it'll sneak up and all the good stuff you need to order anyway. So sort it out. But we thought we'd get into it about different Valentine's Days, how we've had it. How is it now? What's it like for you? What's it like for me?
Speaker 2:compared to our twins, to the 30s, how it's changed, if it's changed at all. And I've got some lovely stats and figures.
Speaker 3:Of course, Of course you have, so I look forward to those.
Speaker 2:I think we should kick off with some stats. I think you want to. Everyone loves a stat, don't they?
Speaker 3:You don't want to wait until they accept the stats, so go for it, all right.
Speaker 2:This is going to be a stats heavy episode. So last year 65% of Brits celebrated I was going to guess. Oh no, don't worry, there's plenty of stats here. Oh good, 65% of. Brits celebrated Valentine's Day, which equates to 34.8 million people, which is mad, isn't it?
Speaker 3:What like? Actively celebrated, Like they were like we're going out for Valentine's.
Speaker 2:They celebrated Valentine's Day, yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean that's valid right. Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 2:That's, if anything, low, but I suppose our kids, about a third of the population. Oh god, now you really like diving in on you because any of the kids that makes sense.
Speaker 3:Well, he's what, all right kids aren't celebrating because they don't care well, I must admit I did celebrate again.
Speaker 2:I do remember, yeah, yeah, I celebrated valentine's day, I think the first time I got a card where card was in year four, year five, and actually the guy actually took me to the cinema as well. His mum picked us up oh, that's quite cute, I know. David Abbott that was his name took me to the cinema. What did?
Speaker 3:you say was it?
Speaker 2:oh, I think it might have been. Was it Shallow Hal? What in year four? I can't, no, I can't, no, I can't remember what we watched I've been. I watched Shallow Hallows a date Can't remember what date that was but yeah, he took me to the cinema, he picked me up, his mum drove, he came to my front door. So cute, that was very cute.
Speaker 3:Was he all dressed up?
Speaker 2:I can't remember, I can't remember, but yeah.
Speaker 3:Didn't make that much of an impression there. That's not bad. That's not a bad valentine's. Valentine's day. I just remember getting a card.
Speaker 2:I remember getting a card in the playground and I was just like, oh my god, I got a valentine's day card god, I think my mom always used to have the right one for me oh, that's sweet, that's nice yeah, because she knew none were coming so I had to wait.
Speaker 3:But yeah, did you ever have like a thing at school where they would kind of like not force Valentine's on everyone, but like they would make it like a whole, like we had the roses at school?
Speaker 2:Well, you went to a private school. They couldn't afford that kind of stuff. Oh no, it was the Enterprise.
Speaker 3:The Enterprise group invested in roses and made everyone buy them, and then you've got to send out the rose and they walked around like in mean girls, right they? Would walk around and they did candy canes as well, but they would give out roses to people and obviously people would end up with absolute snacks and I'd be like nope we didn't do that.
Speaker 2:We did it at work. Remember that. You know you could write a card and put it in, and I think that time I'd like ate Valentine's Day cards that worked yeah, it was DHL, that was yeah when I was in the office.
Speaker 3:The other 364 days of the year, they're like no, you know interpersonal relationships, but then that day they're like go on everyone who do you fancy?
Speaker 2:it was so funny. But here's another stat. How much do you reckon the average expenditure is on gifts that people spend for Valentine's Day? £125 £125 no, the average. Well, yeah, like how much?
Speaker 3:like, is it the first Valentine's per person.
Speaker 2:A person would spend an average. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:So because, like the first one, you'll always go big dog and you'll always like lavish them with gifts. And as the years go on, the gifts get smaller and smaller and smaller. So that's what I'm saying on average. It starts off, sorry, brie oh, she's fine, she gets it. Every day is valentine's Day for Brie, so she's not worried about it.
Speaker 2:But yeah, okay, fine, 300 quid no, that's what I would normally spend.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, I'm thinking you go for a nice meal and you get a couple of presents and that's it no, it's actually 50 quid.
Speaker 2:Oh, cheapskates, or what? No, that doesn't make sense what are you going to buy for 50 pounds plenty?
Speaker 3:of stuff for £50. Like what Well, you just do more sentimental things don't you. You don't necessarily have to get them jewellery, because I think that's a bit outdated now you can kind of go for.
Speaker 2:It's never outdated.
Speaker 3:I don't know. Like you know, everyone loves a Nando's. There you go, Job done, yeah 50 quid.
Speaker 2:Who do you reckon spends more men or women On my little stat? Men, yeah, they do. Only buy a couple of pounds more.
Speaker 3:But that's the patriarch, isn't? It 59 pounds for men and 51 pounds for women. What, oh, 50. Okay, threw me there. Too many numbers going, flowing around, floating around. No, I get that because, like that's the whole thing, that we're men are expected to pay for a day, I mean how many yeah?
Speaker 3:how many men have. What men would spend if they weren't asked is a completely different number. We're looking at around 15, 20 quid, I reckon. If we weren't like come on, or if we hadn't have heard what our mates our mates in new relationships have got their girlfriends, we have to go oh fucking hell, why have you done that? Now we've got to do this and this and this to keep up yeah, no because I know you women talk.
Speaker 2:That's the problem well, yeah, that's it, isn't it?
Speaker 3:so we can't get away with anything. We're always going to hear what our new girlfriend gets and we've got to step up to the plate but was spent for Valentine's Day, which is mad. Well, I'm going to use your stats against you Go on then. I'm going to go. It's 50 quid on average times 60 million people, which is 300 million pounds. No, okay, well, 3 billion pounds 1.5 billion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's 34.8 million who are celebrating, not 60. Just in case the listeners got confused as well, in all my numbers, oh, so my maths would have worked if I'd done it right. Well done, well, there we go.
Speaker 3:The average Private education worked Well it didn't. But yeah, the reasoning was there, the math did not pay off but, 1.5 billion. There you go. Look at that. These blue cheap cards are helping the economy I know, okay, what's the percentage.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, what's the percentage of people who stay at home celebrating?
Speaker 3:oh, low tire these days. Gotta be, it's gotta be. I'd say at least half, at least half you're close, actually, not too far off.
Speaker 2:It's gotta be. 62 percent of people spend time at home yeah 24 obviously like watching movies to know what the rest are doing. If it's just 24 watching movies, uh, 24 percent choose to dine out and four percent this would be. I'll be in this club. I'm in the four percent club um attend events or traveled for the occasion yeah, so that, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not.
Speaker 3:Um, if I, if brie went to me, oh yeah, we should go. We should go somewhere for valentine's. I'm like actually be fair, it's a bit different because it is our anniversary is it?
Speaker 2:yeah, what are you in? No, oh, okay, our initial dating our initial dating anniversary was valentine's day when we were official oh, that's cute, we became official after a terrible date on valentine's day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, why what happened I, I think we both had terror, like horrendous days, and we were just like a bit snippy with each other and we throughout the entire meal we were just like not really talking, blah, blah, blah. But then we had a. We end up driving home and it was like minus minus 20 or something stupid in um in indianapolis and I got a flat tire but I was dropping brie off yeah, and so I thought it was just a quick drop and then that I was going to see her off, see her to the door and then go yeah, I was in shorts and flip-flops.
Speaker 3:Right, I just ran out to the car, oh god so I'm changing the. I was in shorts and flip-flops Right, so I just ran out to the car, oh God, and so I'm changing the tyre minus 20, shorts and flip-flop freezing.
Speaker 2:So how did you end up in a relationship I?
Speaker 3:think because I don't know, every time I went back into the car to try and feel my hands again, because the car was running while I was doing this, warm myself up again, go back out and sort the car right. We kept having like a little giggle, a little bit of a laugh about it and it was. It didn't seem like a as bad a situation as we were in, even though we're on the side of a shitty road in the shitty area yeah, and then after that, I texted that night and saying like I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3:We just had a chat about it and became official that day, even though it was coming off the back of a terrible date oh god, that's so funny, isn't it?
Speaker 2:yeah, but it sounds romantic because it's in america, not?
Speaker 3:everything's romantic. You trust me, the area we're in was not romantic oh really absolutely well the fact that I was driving and I didn't even realize I had a flat tire because of how bad the road was potholes the size of cars. It was ridiculous. So but yeah, we became official and then. So I guess we kind we kind of do stuff for Valentine's Day because it's the anniversary, not because it's Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you would go away, wouldn't you? No, you would never go away. Valentine's.
Speaker 3:Day. No, because why?
Speaker 2:Because it's an excuse to do something.
Speaker 3:You don't need an excuse to do things. You just got to do it, yeah.
Speaker 2:I know, but it's just like. It's like your birthday, right, right? You always do something on your birthday, don't you and people?
Speaker 3:okay, what I do, I I think, because I'm such a um and you've got kids.
Speaker 2:I'm testing. Uncle david can have the kids. You can go away for the weekend. Yeah, because I'm lovely stuff.
Speaker 3:I'm the type of person who's kind of like instant gratification yeah I you know if, if brie and I want to do something, we kind of just organize to do it when the next convenient moment is, we don't go. Oh, let's do that for that distant holiday, we'll go. Should we just do it this weekend? So we kind of have like mini valentine's days and dates throughout the year.
Speaker 2:So it's just like not bothered.
Speaker 3:When the day comes about, yeah, well, you know we'll cook a nice little meal and you know, and stuff like that, but we won't go and do anything too crazy for it, and that's why I was married like christ no, as long as you're happy, it doesn't matter what you do and what was your valentine's day like in your 20s compared to now?
Speaker 2:do you reckon you've changed over the years or not?
Speaker 3:well, no, I'm going to repeat myself, because obviously I've been with Bree for a decade, so I had one Valentine's without her in my 20s, because I've been with her since I was 21 oh, 21.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've been together 10 years bloody hell.
Speaker 3:So so yeah, my gosh because I moved to america when I turned 21.
Speaker 3:I made sure I was 21 when I got there, because obviously otherwise drink so um, so yeah, so literally got there yeah 21 september and then, yeah, met her, met brin february, so and then since then, yeah, basically so, yeah, my, my valentine's day I thought they probably got cheaper. Yeah, because I think I like any like I was saying before any new boyfriend, I got a little bit carried away with valentines and christmas and all that so you did used to, oh, I used to.
Speaker 3:There you go, but then you wear them down over the years and, you know, lower the bar or convince them that you know something sentimental is better than something expensive. What does man V Fat mean to you?
Speaker 2:Move away and enjoy a game of football.
Speaker 1:Mental health, camaraderie, friends, football, fat loss, reverse my diabetes. Big, sweaty fun, life-changing football. Better and healthier lifestyle, good, competitive sport, teamwork, banter and weight loss.
Speaker 3:Create a winning mentality to lose fat Hard work regime and football.
Speaker 1:It means sustainable weight loss.
Speaker 3:Don't let the boys down and don't let yourself down.
Speaker 1:Man V Fat Weigh Play Lose Win so how?
Speaker 3:what were yours like in your 20s? But did you, I mean your 20s? Were you majority single for them, majority in a relationship for them?
Speaker 2:how did it land? I was in relationships most of my 20s, in fact, for, yeah, in fact, nearly all of my 20s oh, so we're in the same boat then yeah what were in the same boat, like in a relationship for direct everything yeah, I was. I'm just trying to think. I think yeah, pretty much all of my 20s I was in a relationship so so.
Speaker 3:So now you're kind of flipping it, you're not.
Speaker 2:You're having your single 30s rather than your single 20s yeah, but it's like I'm a well, I'm a libra, and libra's are very like romantic at heart. They are all about like love. It's like this is, it's the what's it called. It's a horoscope of love, isn't it so when it comes to like, when it comes to relationships and stuff and Valentine's Day, I was all my friends used to take the piss out of me because they're like oh, charlotte, you can tell you're not like married and stuff, because I always used to like go away and always do like, you know, like good things for valentine's day that's funny.
Speaker 3:You could tell you're not married because you enjoy valentine's day and you do good things on valentine's day that's what they say to me.
Speaker 2:That's no, that's literally what they all said to me what a shining recommendation of marriage no, but that's what they used to say. They were like, they used to laugh at me and I remember once like the nicest thing as someone's actually done.
Speaker 2:I had quite a few nice um valentine's days actually go on get gushy with it one of them was, um, so one of my ex-boyfriends I we got we were friends before we got into relationship and we used to go for these walks and he ended up doing like a treasure hunt around this whole walk okay, and at the end was like a watch at the end and I thought that was like very thoughtful and quite sweet. But yeah, valentine's Day now is just I remember when I was obviously in my 30s and that's when I've been like on this whole like journey and stuff, and I'm trying to think of how I was at the beginning because, like right now, as a 35 year old woman who is single spinster, I'm like, I am like not bothered by it at all, like I don't even feel like, you know, I'm like, oh, I wish I was with someone or anything, because I just feel so literally content and happy do you get any comments?
Speaker 3:do you get anybody asking like oh, what are you gonna find someone before valentine's?
Speaker 2:day. No, because all the people who used to do that I just don't have them in my life anymore. That literally you know the ones who always try and I make you think that you're not okay on your own, like I just can't be arsed with it.
Speaker 3:But now I just feel like I'm just totally in my own little world and I just feel like just happy, yeah, you're, you're probably in, like it's it's rare to feel like that, no, but it's like I think the the way society is now is kind of lined up quite nicely for you, because it has become way more of a norm over the past like 10 years for people just to be like I'm just don't want a relationship right now, and not everyone'd like to be on them all the time by like, oh yeah, but you need with my relationship right now, and not everyone would like to be on them all the time. But I'm like, oh yeah, but you need to settle down. You need to do this, like when I think about you being single, I don't think, oh gosh, she needs to get married.
Speaker 3:I don't, doesn't leave an end to my you are your own person.
Speaker 2:See I when, since I've been on this whole journey, that to be constantly like why are you not getting with someone? Why are you not settling down and saying all this stuff to me? Why?
Speaker 3:are you bothered? I'm not, they're not you. Why are they bothered? Because it's just I don't know, but some people are, aren't they, they just like they want to fix someone else because, I don't know, something else is broken in their life. What's going on?
Speaker 2:or maybe you need to look inward?
Speaker 3:are they trying to be single?
Speaker 2:are they trying to get out there who knows.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I, yeah, I don't know On this side where I am right now. You know, there has been times where I think maybe, like in the past, it's like right, valentine's Day, I'm going to celebrate all on my own and I'm going to treat myself and I'm going to give myself the same kind of love. And that's when I bought the Tiffany Co bracelet. So I was in that like 400 pound club mark that I was spending on a present. You were skewing the figures, I literally you know. But now I just don't even feel like I need to do anything, not even for myself. I don't know if it's because I've just bought myself a trip to italy going skiing, which I'm going next week.
Speaker 3:That's why because you're, you're giving yourselves treats. Yeah, you're not waiting for the big day exactly.
Speaker 2:I actually think that's probably what it is, you know for sure. But I do know there's a lot of people out there who who would probably feel on the day they would feel upset. They're like, oh, you know, they want to be in a relationship, they want to have someone spoiling them. But I think you've just got to, like, look at it a different way.
Speaker 2:It's like, you know, I'm 35, say this is my timeline of my life. Right now, I'm here and I'm literally in the best time of my life right now and it's like, you know, next year or the year after I could meet someone and they could be the one and I could spend this part of my life, which is the rest of my life, with them. So, like, this bit now is just so important to just fully just be so grateful and thankful that I am where I am today and I just I honestly do feel very lucky and I think I always wanted to get to this place in my life where I found happiness within, and I've actually found it. It it's incredible, it really is. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3:And so anyone saying like, well, obviously I know you don't hear it anymore because you've kicked them out, but like anyone, who's that asked about your relationship, whether you're in one or not, um, they seem to mind their own business, I think. Get on with their own life. Sort out their own problems, why they come in, why they're coming at you come and knocking at the door. Yeah, grow up, sort your own stuff out, because there's obviously something going on.
Speaker 2:If you're like, if you're judging someone who's some people don't like it, do they they want? It's like sometimes, if someone's unhappy, they want someone else to join them in the boat, don't they have unhappiness?
Speaker 2:oh, yeah, and it's like you know. You know I'm here, I'm free, I'm single, I can do what the hell I want. And it's like some people you know it's not a nasty thing that they do but they probably want you to be in the same boat as them because they want you to be, you know, living the kind of life that they're living. So they don't feel like they're missing out on anything, because probably they do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, of course.
Speaker 2:Especially if they've not done their whole journey and everything.
Speaker 3:Oh, of course, yeah, especially if they've settled down from like really young with it as well and they've been in the same relationship for absolutely ages. They're probably looking and like, oh God, no, she needs to be in a relationship like I am so she can see I don't know. So like kind of a backwards thing, they're upset in their own relationship and they want you to go through it with them. I don't know, it's weird. Yeah, they might not, you know.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I think Valentine's Day it's. I do love it. Like you know when you see on Facebook and the things that people do. I love it.
Speaker 3:I do like to romanticize life a bit and it is quite you know, oh, you know, but I do get a bit like the ick. Sometimes I don't get the. I mean I'm not, I'm not a big pda guy anyway, to be fair.
Speaker 2:So like and facebook sharing on facebook, like dinner with this one special night with this one one, oh God, that's just social media PDA for me it's just gross, yeah, like you've got to prove a point or stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you just see this girl and she's sharing dinner with this one and you just look at this girl and it looks like a thumb and you're like, okay, sure, if that's a choice you want to make. So it's interesting what people share and obviously a lot of it is just a brag. It's just to purely show, like, how much, how much they got that year for Valentine's Day. It's like, okay, we get it, we get it, we get it. You know, we know why you're doing it. You're not doing it for, you know, because you're going to shout from the rooftop how much you love that person. You just want to show us the. You got the new jewelry, the new watch, the new blah blah do you know what?
Speaker 2:I would be quite interested, when I do get into relationship, how it will be like that, this not the new charlotte, but the new charlotte like. So in the past I've always been like, right, we need to do something really special, it's valentine's day, and I'd love to know what I'd be like now, because when I was in a relationship two years ago, I was has happy in this relationship and it got to valentine's day and he'd just been working away. I think he got back that evening and you know, we didn't really we didn't book any weekends away or anything like that. Okay, we'd just been in london the month before, okay, but we didn't book anything. And I was, I was fine with that, I was happy. I was like, yeah, let's just get like had they forgotten about?
Speaker 2:it no, just because he'd been so busy at work, like so busy he'd just gone.
Speaker 2:He'd just come back from a business trip on valentine's day and yeah, we didn't really, and I was happy with that. So it's a funny one, isn't it? I think it just depends, however you feel it doesn't matter if it looks right to other people, if it doesn't and I just feel sorry for the people who get let down, who you know don't get me made to feel special. So if you're in a relationship and you know, say, if you're quite living like a busy life and you've got kids, for instance, and you've got, let's face it, kids are a time suck, they, they, they didn't really. I'm sorry that that came out completely wrong?
Speaker 3:no, it's true.
Speaker 2:No, no, but you're very like enwrapped around the kids, aren't you? So when it comes to you time and there's, you're quite blessed because you've got your parents who are very like, supportive and stuff. But there is some people who don't have that at all and it's, like you know, valentine's day. I think it's important just to give that other person, even if it's just to do something thoughtful, like write them a nice card, write them a little note, even cook them some breakfast.
Speaker 3:Just take the time to tell them how much they mean to you and how grateful you are and how much you love them, and I think it is nice to do that yeah, but I always, I always think, if, if you're hoping for that on valentine's day and you and you don't get it, and you're not expecting something like that valentine's day, you're probably not getting it the rest of the year, and there's there's something else going on, you know yeah, but some people just aren't that way inclined, are they?
Speaker 3:to show a little bit of affection to their partner and give them like a I mean I, I would have bigger problems. I'm saying if you're, if your fingers cross, that you're going to get some words of affirmation from your partner one day of the year christ no, but I'm just saying, if you're busy, if you've got kids and you know it's stressful, you can always I know you should do it you always send the text, you can always, you know, oh, 100 I get it.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't put up with it personally because I feel unloved. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3:Brie wouldn't put up with it. She'd tell me She'd be like you know, we've got to set some time aside. Yeah, simple, as you know, early on with the kids, we would, you know, during our conversations, we'd remind each other that we both still exist and we're both still people and we both still need some sort of attention. And we'd, you know, reconvene, because you kind of have to and at one point you do have to, kind of like pencil in a moment. So shall we just, tamora and I, once the kids are down, shall we just sit and just bedrock together, or shall we just sit and just watch? Just watch 20 episodes or something, just to, even if we're not doing anything, we're just sat there together, just enjoying it and just having who, even if we're not doing anything we're just sat there together, just enjoying it and just having that time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, carve out that time, but if they're not carving out the rest of the year, they're not going to carve out a few Valentine's Day, are they?
Speaker 2:I know, but this is a time where you don't, even if something is not, if somebody doesn't do that the whole year, you can still change For one day. No, but I'm saying you can start now.
Speaker 3:The bar is low, isn't it? Ladies?
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ, I know but there is some women out there who aren't treated right. Exactly, and there's some men who are out there who aren't treated right. Get out of there then, and there is some people, yeah, but it's just because you know they just don't like either the guys or the women. Don't put the effort in.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:But like we said on this podcast many times, if someone's not putting the effort, oh, 100, I'm like walk away from that shit yeah, but sometimes you need to work on it first, like, say, if there's just a busy life or something, sometimes you do have to work on it. I'm just saying valentine's day is a day where you do, you know right, you've actually got to think about each other.
Speaker 3:It's a day to just show I have love I've got an idea then, as an exercise, because it's's the third, it's the third of February. Right now, when this comes out, it's the third of Feb. Don't remind your inconsiderate don't remind your inconsiderate partner that Valentine's Day is coming up and just see what they do off their own backs and if they don't step up to the plate, leave them.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm saying If they don't step up by themselves, because there's a lot of people that will hold someone's hand to show them the way to make someone feel better. So they will like remind them that valentine's day is coming up. Hint what they might like, or just straight up tell them yeah, what they want.
Speaker 3:I would really like this. And this valentine's day, don't forget, it's coming up. Oh, I put it in the amazon basket. It's right there, just oh, I, oh, I've done that. That is. You can get that at M&S. If you want to get that food, I like that. That is at M&S. Just like you walk them to the, you walk them to the door, you take the horse to water, right, yeah, see what they do by themselves. See if they step up to the plate by themselves If they don not stepping up in any other aspect either because the bar is low and we keep pushing it lower and lower and lower.
Speaker 2:I mean, no, you don't want to go too low, do you? That's what I'm saying people keep.
Speaker 3:It keeps getting like and the lower it's weaponizing competence. Right, that's the thing you hear a lot about in men yeah is if they do something so terribly they won't have to do it again.
Speaker 2:They won't have to do it again.
Speaker 3:It's almost because it's just easier to do it myself, yeah so if the man, if the man like is all, always does shit at valentine's day, every time valentine's day comes around, it's going to get lower and lower and lower before the woman just goes. I'm not expecting a single thing see, I just and then he can bring her a card and she'll lose her mind and think that she's hit the jackpot, when really it's just the bar is low yeah.
Speaker 2:But if men are being like that, come on. Or if woman's being like that, come on, because everyone deserves the best, don't they? They do, yeah. So I wouldn't put up with anything less. I would literally just stay on my own where I'm happy. That's what I'm saying that is what I'm saying yeah, I do get what you mean, but just a little exercise, little exercise, a little social experiment.
Speaker 3:Don't remind your husbands about.
Speaker 2:There's going to be some arguments. Special occasions there's going to be some arguments.
Speaker 3:Sometimes it's needed. Sometimes we've all been in what do you call it autopilot for too long. Let's have a little wake up, see what happens.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Mass breakups on February 15th.
Speaker 2:Honestly gosh. There probably is anyway, because oh yeah, it would definitely cause If someone's not happy in a relationship. Valentine's Day highlights that.
Speaker 3:And also going the complete other way. If you're completely delusional about everything you're going to get for Valentine's Day and you've got a huge head in the clouds that you're going to have a massive 80s film montage moment where they're going to blow your mind and sweep you off your feet with a bloody flash mob, calm that down as well. So let's meet in the middle somewhere. Let's, you know, let's bring it all in set the bar in the middle, you know, and then everyone will be a lot happier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's where I'm at running down the middle, that's it yeah, no, I agree, tricks throughout the year valentine's day, yeah, but sometimes, if you do live a busy life, it is a day, just you know where they can check in with each other exactly and just have a day where it's an excuse. You know they could. They don't have babysitters. Normally they could get people to babysit because valentine's day yeah, it puts a bit of fire. Fire me and my wife need to go spend some time together. Does it fire up your ass?
Speaker 3:Fire in your belly, kicking the ass, I don't know Something like that. Yeah, kicking the belly, I don't know. Anyway, that's where I'm at with Valentine's Day. I think, yeah, people need to step up, but also some people need to calm down.
Speaker 2:I must. If I was celebrating Valentine's Day and they didn't put, if they didn't put any thought in it and I could just tell they didn't care, I'd be done, that'd be it, I'd be gone.
Speaker 3:I would, oh Brie would have left ages ago if I didn't get the task.
Speaker 2:Yeah absolutely, you know, yeah, no speaking of which I haven't actually got anything.
Speaker 3:Valentine's.
Speaker 2:Day this out on the 3rd, isn't it? Yeah?
Speaker 3:so we've I've got loads of time to think of something, um, but other than that, that is, that is my, that is my idea with Valentine's Day. That is my big old social experiment. So I want to hear if anyone puts their husband to the test, or boyfriend to the test, yeah please, I don't want. Just want to highlight people who aren't stepping up, that's it it's bad, though, isn't it like I?
Speaker 2:I've never been in a relationship where a guy has literally put no effort in at all there you go never, and has it been that they've?
Speaker 3:Well, that's good, that's nice. Yeah, Look at you. That's good. I didn't need to flex on everyone. I didn't say do I? I've actually only been in a relationship where they put in so much effort.
Speaker 2:So I think it's a bit too much. No, I'm not saying that All the lonely people. It's Valentine's Day. Charlotte's never had a bad one.
Speaker 3:So wait, no, I haven't no crying into your discounted chocolates on the 15th of feb I mean, what, if hey, single people? Or the lonely people or the lonely people.
Speaker 2:It means you have to show your chocolate booking.
Speaker 3:No the next day it's all on sale isn't it, it's all on sale. Go down 15th of feb, fill your boots. Yeah, so you got any shit valentine's? No, you've had good ones, haven't you?
Speaker 2:I mean talking about shit amazing right they've been amazing. But there's been times where it's yeah, I don't know, you know, you're just not really feeling the relationship there's been times where I've got towards the end of a relationship and I'm like I'm not feeling this anymore I just don't want to be with you. This is all fate.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because it's valentine's day falls weirdly after christmas, doesn't it? So if you, you you're out of the. I think radio one used to do a thing called like the relationship transfer window. So once you got to about december 1st, you basically, if you were in a relationship with someone, you kind of had to stay in that relationship, at least through Christmas, because you can't dump someone on Christmas.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But if you didn't dump them pretty much immediately into the new year? You can't dump them that much You'll have a Valentine's Day gift already. You've kind of got to stay with them into Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2:January is the worst time for breaking up.
Speaker 3:I get that.
Speaker 2:It's when the rental property shoots through the roof.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I bet, because people have stayed with their partners so they can get the Christmas gift and also offload the Christmas gift they bought for the partner and they don't want to have to fork out for a Valentine's gift. So they might as well bin them off about Jan 15th. So sorry anybody who's gone through a recent breakup because they didn't want to fork out the average
Speaker 2:50 quid for you. But you know what if they've just gone through?
Speaker 3:a breakup. I'm like, I'm excited for you. You're free, you're single, do what you want. Go and have fun. Go have a meal for one. Go have just go.
Speaker 2:Go to the cinema by yourself oh, just go and get loads of chocolate, get you, get a takeaway, get loads of food. Put a really good cheesy film on, that's just really good. Get the blanket and just enjoy it, you know. Or buy yourself a present. Spend that money that you would on someone else and spend it on yourself, you know. Get the bracelet, get the watch as long as you can afford it. Don't get into debt.
Speaker 3:Pop on a true crime podcast, you know what's?
Speaker 2:I don't know about that. It's not very, you know, oh yeah get nice and snuggly well you'll feel, you'll feel much better in your single relationship.
Speaker 3:If you hear about someone being killed in another one, you know you'll just feel better yeah, but at least I'm not that person yeah, but you know what I would love to change people's perspective on being single it. It's just like you just said right, I'll do it, yeah, but you just, you just said no, you're just like, oh you know, feeling sorry for yourself.
Speaker 2:The single. No, do you know how lucky people are I said who are single? Do you know how lucky people are who are single? People don't even realize it when they're single, how lucky they are, I think it's how recently they have become single or how long they have.
Speaker 3:Also, you got the two ways. You either got you're freshly single and you're like oh life, shit. Or you've been single for decades and you're like what the fuck's wrong with me, why does no one love me? But then you've got the in between bit, where you are yourself and you're happy with yourself and you're enjoying yourself no, because you can be happy at the beginning, the end and the middle.
Speaker 2:You can 100%. Oh, wow, yeah, no, actually I've only been dumped once. And Fresh off getting dumped, 100% yeah. You were like Woo, oh, wow, yeah, no, actually I've only been dumped once.
Speaker 3:And how was it? Was it great? Was it the best time ever? I was.
Speaker 2:I was pretty gutted. I remember going in the park and crying. I was very upset.
Speaker 3:But it's meant to be A really happy time.
Speaker 2:But Then I'm like, well, you know, life is gonna wait, and yeah, what you?
Speaker 3:were just crying in the park and then you just went it's not my time.
Speaker 2:And then you pull myself together pretty quickly yeah, did you.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, I don't. I don't stay oh you do the Beyonce wallow. I think she's like she gives herself a day.
Speaker 2:Give herself a day, that's it done and let it out, get it all out, and I'm like right yeah, come on then, lads no, because I don't lie. You don't have to go back on tinder, you're just like I mean, that would be the first port of call.
Speaker 3:I don't. Whichever dating app it would be, it would have to be yeah, straight back on, you got to look at what's going on out there.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, I think it depends what you want to do.
Speaker 3:You can do, can't you me personally no yeah, I'm too much in need of validation, so I would you know need to want to you know, tell me, I'm amazing, I am tell yourself no too much self doubt if I don't believe in myself, how am I going to convince myself that I'm saying it? Oh gosh, that's why I'm in a relationship, so brie can tell me, so I don't have to sort out myself. Hey, and vice versa.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, but you're, I think you guys are all right, though. There is some, though, that are very toxic relationships, and I do feel yeah I feel so sorry for those, either men or women, who are in those right now yeah, I do especially on valentine's day, well, yeah, because it's just I don't even know how to attack that really because it highlights it, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:but then there's some people who are really happy. Now here's one for you people getting love bombed right now do you reckon, if you're truly happy, you'd be celebrated valentine's day? Let's flip on its shoulders what you mean. It's like me, for instance, when it came to valentine's day. Let's flip on its shoulders what you mean. It's like me, for instance, when it came to valentine's day, I was like, right, okay, I'm gonna spoil myself with so much love when now I don't feel like the need to do it.
Speaker 3:I'm just like maybe, maybe because you're more just seeing it like as another day. It is what it is. It's a day. It's a day for couples and that's fine. So if you're in a couple, celebrate, if you're not, don't bother. But not not don't bother and be sad about it.
Speaker 2:Just don't bother because it's not for you see, I was thinking about this, but the only thing is, obviously I'm going to italy and I'm spending quite a lot of money on that. You're going to italy yeah, no way like. And then I was thinking, if I wasn't going there, would I be doing something? I think I probably would. I probably would take Maisie away Because on Valentine's Day I'm so good, like the people around me, I'm going to show them how much I love them. It doesn't have to be a romantic thing, it can just be like just being grateful for the people you've got around.
Speaker 2:Honestly, I'm going to take Maisie. She's going to pets at home. Go on, babes treat yourself what do you want. But oh god, I've got a really bad thing she did the other day.
Speaker 1:I was in pets at home and I was buying her a new lead in color.
Speaker 2:And anyway, walking past this thing, this clothes, she starts peeing against the dog goat. I'm like maisie, what are you doing them? To buy this stupid dog? She's peed against she hasn't. She's doing a proper handstand, weeing against this. Yeah, when she wees sometimes she's a handstand she'll go on the top her front paws and lift a bum up in the air.
Speaker 3:And yeah, she's she was just peeing on her own face.
Speaker 2:No, it's funny next time she does it, I record it oh, but yeah. So valentine's day, enjoy everyone if you're single. If you're single, spoil yourself, do something nice, buy yourself something lovely.
Speaker 3:It's just another day, you lonely fucker stop it.
Speaker 2:It's an excuse to treat yourself.
Speaker 3:I don't do anything else if you're in a relationship, either celebrate or don't, it's up to you no, try and celebrate and if they don't celebrate with you, get out of that relationship, leave them they're useless if you're not happy. Exactly if you're not happy, leave them now so you don't have to buy a present. Fuck them off get rid.
Speaker 2:See you later.
Speaker 3:Charlotte's just trying to get more people to join the single brigade no, I just want more people sleep.
Speaker 2:I just want more people to be happy. That's all I care about. Is people being happy? That's a sprinkle magic on everyone. Magic does just make them happy within their own skins.
Speaker 3:I'd love that if you can't love yourself, how are you gonna love somebody else?
Speaker 2:you know well, yeah, there is actually a quote. I love every single valentine's day and I do love it so much. It was on forbes where I saw it, but she however whether it's being able to love yourself or being loved. If you have love, I believe you can do anything, and it's so true, it's so true though it's literally so true.
Speaker 2:Anyway, guys, have a great valentine's day. We're over and out, we're done for the day now and we will catch you very soon. Thank you so much for listening. Send us any stories to our dms on 30 old, 30 young, of anything that you've got where any bad stories, because I'd like to hear anything we'll shout them out, and also if you.
Speaker 3:If anybody does dump their significant others because of what they've heard in this podcast, let us know, because I'd like to know what damage we've done he's on one. Today I'm using the platform for the greater good. If, if he shit get out, that's it absolutely, if, absolutely.
Speaker 2:The bar is so low If you are not happy absolutely.
Speaker 3:Change your life.
Speaker 2:It's Valentine's.
Speaker 3:Day. If you don't step up, step out. I should know step out means cheat, doesn't it? No step out Step out of the relationship If you don't step up step out, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Go live your best life, find someone else.
Speaker 3:And on.
Speaker 2:Tinder, an house like yourself, who can treat yourself better exactly welcome to the club see you next, see you next week.
Speaker 3:Single people, ciao, ciao thanks for listening.
Speaker 1:We know time is precious and we thank you for yours. Please like and subscribe and we'll see you next week.
