30 Old 30 Young
30 Old 30 Young explores the fascinating contrasts of life in your thirties through the eyes of two cousins living vastly different paths. Join us as we navigate the uncertainties of adult life, from career choices to lifestyle decisions, through both a globetrotting adventurer's and a family-focused perspective.
Our main episodes dive deep into real-life challenges facing thirty-somethings today, while our mini-episodes break down the three best and worst aspects of pivotal adult life scenarios.
Whether you're questioning your life choices, seeking perspective, or just wanting to hear honest conversations about adulting, this podcast offers authentic insights into the beautiful chaos of your third decade. New episodes released weekly, featuring raw discussions about career transitions, relationships, mental health, and the endless quest for work-life balance. Your thirties don't come with a manual - but this podcast comes pretty close.
30 Old 30 Young
Why Most Resolutions Fail (and why Charlottes won’t)
We’re back!!!
In this episode, Charlotte is spilling her top-secret New Year's resolutions... and they’re not what you think!
The queen of resolutions is back to set some wildly ambitious goals for 2025… will she succeed or totally crash and burn? Tune in to find out!
It’s a new year, a fresh season, and a whole bunch of empty pages waiting to be filled with amazing plans.
We’re talking goal-setting, planning, and how to turn this year into one of the best yet.. whilst saving money! Whaaat?
So grab your coffee, get comfy, and let’s make 2025 unforgettable... or at least give it our best shot!
Thanks for Listening, find more content at our Instagram @30old30young
two cousins taking different life paths discuss the highs and lows of being in your 30s, and nothing is off limits. This is life in your 30s.
Speaker 2:This is 30 old, 30 young hello and welcome back to season three of 30 Old, 30 Young.
Speaker 1:We're back.
Speaker 2:I know the holiday blues are probably creeping in now. Everyone's returning back to work and it's rubbish, but we're hopefully here to turn it all around.
Speaker 3:We have got some good news.
Speaker 2:Oh, we have Good, I need it.
Speaker 3:I mean, the nights are starting to get lighter now.
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, but I'm spending the days at work again. So you know it's not.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm finding out, you're there, it's a silver lining, I suppose.
Speaker 2:But we are going to take this episode forward with talking about New Year's resolutions. Of course, you know, charlotte's all about New Year, new me, and she's dragging me into it as well, oh God.
Speaker 3:Give over, as if you love a bit of this All this reflection.
Speaker 2:nonsense, it's all, charlotte.
Speaker 3:You're getting there now I'm changing you.
Speaker 2:Wearing me down, I think, is the term, but we will talk about our resolutions. Well, mostly today we're going to talk about yours.
Speaker 3:And a bit of yours as well.
Speaker 2:Maybe I'll have a little dabble.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's not all about me. Take the wheel.
Speaker 3:Oh God's sake what?
Speaker 2:what is your main focus this year? Like are you? I'm done, I've completed life, I'm solid, I'm happy with where I'm at. I'm done, I'm done. This is it. This is me absolutely not. No, no not found the greatest showman. This is me.
Speaker 3:I mean, do you know what? I can't complain but you still do but I still do okay, fine, fine, but no what I'm trying to say is that imagine if you just stayed the same until you died well, that's something that's a lot of people.
Speaker 2:No, it's not. Yeah, you stay the same. Well, it depends. You could be. You could be one way. When you're 16, you do a load of changing and you end up kind of being the same way when you're 90 and you die then that's cool.
Speaker 3:That's it. I don't know. I want a bit more from life at the minute well, how are you doing it, though?
Speaker 2:how are you how you're smashing it?
Speaker 3:well, do you know what? I was thinking quite a lot over the christmas break, thinking what do I actually want from 2025? Okay, and I think what I'm going to do is one of my New Year's resolutions is to basically just enjoy the year.
Speaker 2:Vague. Is that too vague for a thing?
Speaker 3:No, because I'm just going to be, checking into myself.
Speaker 2:Number one resolution. Enjoy it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:That's literally it.
Speaker 2:How do you quantify that?
Speaker 3:If I'm happy, if I wake up every day, if I'm happy and if I'm not, what do I need to change?
Speaker 2:Do you have anything now that you need to change in order to start that enjoyment ball rolling?
Speaker 3:Well, yes, okay, change in order to start that enjoyment ball rolling. Well, yes, so obviously in 2024 I was very much like whatever princess wants, princess gets it's princess, you, or is that maisie?
Speaker 3:it's me, I'm maisie okay but she doesn't really ask for much at all. She's quite easygoing, okay. But basically I am have just, I was just having fun. So you know I wasn't really saving much, only very little. And I think next year I want to see um a massive level up, okay. So obviously I've set a goal that I want to achieve next year. I've set out how I'm going to do that and you know, financial thing is always on people's new year's resolution, so this isn't so kind of like a subcategory to enjoying.
Speaker 2:It is the. The b thing is what's going to help you enjoy it is to be more financially sound or financially aware, because you know, because I don't like.
Speaker 3:I like, since I've been on this journey, that I keep going on about most episodes it's a journey.
Speaker 1:It's a journey just eat love pray, but since I've been on this, eat, pray, love, one of my favourite films.
Speaker 3:I don't even know what it's called anyway, so, since I've been on this journey, I have always focused on my finances yeah and I've been very, very good, and every new year's I've set that as a target where I didn't last year oh yeah, the rogue yeah.
Speaker 3:I was just like do you know what? This? I'm just going to enjoy my, I'm just going to enjoy it, I'm not going to put too much stress on myself, because when I'm dedicated to saving, you know like I'm very dedicated you smash it, you're like no takeouts no, I told you I wanted to be happy next year okay, oh so they're.
Speaker 2:They're fighting, they're conflicting, so so where? Where will you save the money? Like, where will you pull back?
Speaker 3:so there's loads of obvious ones in there, so I've gone through all my finances right saving about 200 pounds a month nice okay, so starting first to make sure that I'm paying everything out at a good price what have you binned off? Um, it's not so much billing off, it's just reviewing everything like insurances. I have insurances for everything, don't get me started on. So yeah, and there's they. You know they're wankers they are they charge a lot.
Speaker 2:So your life insurance, absolutely.
Speaker 3:I've got it all jake I if you come to me and tell me have you got insurance?
Speaker 2:I've got it and it's crazy, isn't it? Because I I was, I was thinking today, um, because I've, I've, I got my life insurance renewal, yeah, and it came through, and it's stupid money because I've got it indexed links. So basically, the payout gets bigger the more years. So, covering inflation, yeah, and I did this when I was 16. Yeah, with dad. I remember going to Nationwide, sat there at 16, you know when I could have been enjoying my weekend and we talked about how soon I'm going to die, basically.
Speaker 3:Well, and that's the last time you reviewed it.
Speaker 2:No it, and then it's index linked. So it's been going up and up and up since I was 16. Now I get all these adverts from like insure yourself from like two pound fifty a month or whatever.
Speaker 3:Blah, blah, blah and mine's like 70 quid a month, I'm paying for the insurance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm being absolutely I'm being done, because because of the index link, it's going up and up and up and I just think and this is all hindsight, obviously if I just not insured myself because I was young, I was 16, if I just not insured myself and put that money away and put it to something like bitcoin yes well, I I know this is why I went down a little rabbit hole.
Speaker 2:Today. I was saying, like, so I was paying 25 quid when it first started blah blah when bitcoin was also 25 quid. So if if I just put it into that, I'd have about 40 million pounds today. But instead I've just paid out like 12 grand over the years in insurance and I'm 31. Like, what was I doing, insuring myself at 16?
Speaker 3:I mean, yeah, I don't get why you did that.
Speaker 2:Yeah was there a murder conspiracy on me.
Speaker 3:What was Dad trying to do? Uncle David, what was that about?
Speaker 2:Get me insured for 258.16. He's like he has been acting up lately.
Speaker 3:He was just keeping his finances in check when this did happen to you and you'll get a payout. It's like Maisie if she dies, I'll get a payout for her.
Speaker 2:You got a target on her head.
Speaker 3:Absolutely not, what's the payout. I don't you're gonna live forever on your princess yeah, that money's never coming keep your money.
Speaker 2:I don't want it okay so, yeah, so you're sorting that out, bringing bringing all that down, because, like we said I think we mentioned in the last episode, if you don't review it, they will mug you off as much as they can, and then that, like I said in 2024, you know, there were some things that went up and I just couldn't be arsed.
Speaker 3:I didn't have the energy you know, because when you'd be doing these, when you'd be going through all your finances and all your insurances or your policies, all this, that and the other, it takes time to do and sometimes you think I can't be arsed and I didn't have the energy last year to even be doing that where this year I'm taking control of it again and I'm like do you know what that's it?
Speaker 3:so yeah, so that's one of my goals and, to be honest, when I've done it in the past, I've always achieved it. I've always achieved my financial goals lovely so it's just, I've set my targets. I've done different bits and bobs which I can go over on a later episode if you wanted to go do like a financing.
Speaker 2:I think we would like a finance episode. People love a bit of numbers so that's one of my goals. So boom, enjoy it, save some money by not being mugged off. There's two, quite you know you quantified, enjoy it quite well, the money savings pretty easy to like, follow, like to actually like see how well you're doing.
Speaker 3:Third one Third, one more trips to Italy.
Speaker 1:Of course.
Speaker 3:Like save money.
Speaker 2:More trips to.
Speaker 3:Italy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so how are they going to work? No, I'm only joking.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're saving Well but in the saving money you can still live life.
Speaker 2:Well, let's face it, you're saving £200 a month. That's basically a flight to Italy.
Speaker 3:There you go, so, and you know you save for three months you've got a flight and a couple nights at a hotel, it doesn't mean you're not going to keep enjoying life because you can. You'd be surprised at how much money you actually get once you do start budgeting.
Speaker 2:It's unreal.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, if you're earning you, you start to see if you, if you're running, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, of course so it's not the same if like yeah, I do get that it does, it does.
Speaker 2:It does start to, you know, but it's always. I'm always like rainy day funds. That's kind of like like my bank account always looks a bit sad because I have my rainy day funds dot on about. I've got little pots that I put money into that. I'm like we can dip into that. If we need it, we can dip into that. And so my my current account is always like can I, can we have some? I'm like, no, you can have enough for a meal deal tomorrow and then we can sort you out when I get paid on Friday. You know it's one of those things. And so because then I can dip in if needs be, like when the wedding came about, we could have a little dip in.
Speaker 2:When nursery fees come about and they come around every month, it turns out have a little dip, have a little dip in the nursery pot, you know. So it's a bit rubbish spending it on stuff like that, but it's, it's I. It's rubbish spending on that, but I've got it and that's nice and that's always the position I want to be in. You know where that can come out of that account and I don't have to be like checking it and making sure it's, it's there, it's ready to go, and that's that's when I, that's when my enjoy it kicks in big time.
Speaker 3:I get that, so I also want to do a bit more writing, because that's something else that I've just dipped off in 2024.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I'm going to be a bit more strict with that, because I was really good at one point and then just completely fell off the bandwagon last year and it wasn't again. Did I set a target for it last year and it wasn't again I did. I set a target for it last year, can't remember what year actually the year before, was it last year?
Speaker 2:are you going to join a club? A little creative writing class, get the well, what? What are you trying to write? Are you you writing psalms? Are you writing little poems or is it more like long form? Is it a novel? Is it more like long form? Is it a novel?
Speaker 3:Is it I'm writing a?
Speaker 2:story, a story Like a fiction, non-fiction. I know he's.
Speaker 3:Based on a true story, maybe with a bit added in. With a little bit.
Speaker 2:yeah, Because most true stories are pretty boring, so you need to add a little bit of something.
Speaker 3:Yes, but anyway, that's what I really want to do next.
Speaker 2:Okay, nice.
Speaker 3:Do more writing.
Speaker 2:So are you going to do? Have you set like a? Because the way One day yeah, this is it the way my brain works I need to be like Structured. Yeah, so if I go, I want to write more. I have to be like, if I can write a hundred words a day by the time you finish the year.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but then even if you're like saying I'll do 200 words a day, but there again it's like well, you're not actually scheduling that in, so sometimes when life happens and you're really busy, you might not get those words done because you've not actually scheduled the time slot to do it so, so you're, you're a time slot, type you yeah right. So could you do that? Then you could say like a limit, say right, I wanted 200 words today, yeah, so.
Speaker 2:I would be like if I wanted to write something. I just realised my maths earlier when I said 5,200 for the year is completely wrong. It would be 36,500, which is a lot of words. Yeah, and it might be absolute drafts, because it will be, it'll be first draft. But yeah, if I go, I want to write 100 words a day. I would just have, I would just have a notebook handy and I'd just keep going to that notebook and then writing out. Obviously you can't really count 100 words, but you know, or a page a day, something like this, this geezer, a page a day. You'd fill out a few of these in a year.
Speaker 3:Go back and realise it's such a shite see, for me I've got to actually schedule it in, because then I know I can't do anything there.
Speaker 2:It's like literally blanked out my diary but will you do that like every day, so like 7 till 7.30. You'd have no, I wouldn't no way no no, because that's mad.
Speaker 3:I don't have enough time in the week yeah, yeah, by the time I finish work, then I go to the gym. By the time you have dinner, it's like 11.30.
Speaker 2:And 11.30 till 12. Tippy tappy, tippy tappy, tippy tappy, write my book.
Speaker 3:At that point then on social media scroll, it's mental.
Speaker 2:Like when you hear about like authors, you just no sleep, you just go outside of your work. Because I always remember that, like when, because obviously went to uni did creative writing, want to be a writer yeah yeah, did film tv in america yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 2:I did like film studies over there as well as um, screenwriting, like, yeah, yeah. So I did that. Obviously I don't have the um, I did. I didn't have it in me to do the whole writing thing. But whenever I say I'm going to do it, I always think, well, I can't do it because of this. And I make up the excuses as to why I can't do it.
Speaker 2:And there's this cartoon I saw. It was one of those slides where it's bit by bit where this guy's like I just want to write this book, but I haven't got the right table or whatever. And he buys a new table. Then he, then he goes oh god, if the kids didn't stop bloody screaming, I could write this book. So he finds another room to go into and then, oh, my wife's on at me about I want to get, and then so he ends up moving into his new apartment by himself, moves out, leaves his wife and kids and he sat watching tv while his pen and paper on his new table doing nothing. Yeah, because I remember, because I remember one of my final pieces of work was a short story about a man who was making up every excuse as to why he couldn't write the short story, so very meta. Yeah, absolutely. You know your chair's too high, chair's too low, pen's not the right size, you will come up with every excuse. But if you're setting aside time and you're like Sunday, two till three Exactly, bosh.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 2:Okay, I look forward to reading it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's another thing, and obviously journaling as well. So Holly bought me a journal book and I love this journal. It's so good. I've been using it quite a lot.
Speaker 2:Is it a prompt journal or is it just free flow?
Speaker 3:It's like a prompt one.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 3:So little bits and bobs and I quite like that. So I've been doing a bit of journaling as well, but yeah so, but actual writing and that's that'll be good to like.
Speaker 2:Get the juices flowing anyway. Like that gets you back into the flow of writing, gets the muscles in the hands working. Oh, you were.
Speaker 3:You were a writer or a typer typer, but I do like writing as well, but then sometimes you know when you're writing and it gets messy, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:you know, because you're writing so fast it's a bit crazy yeah, you look a bit unhinged. Yeah, so you're a typer. The problem is, when I'm a typer, I'm like I see that you know little safari logo down the bottom. I'm like like, if I'm writing a story I'll be like oh, what's her? Oh this, and a girl entered that girl. What was that girl in that? And I find myself well, because like the most easily distracted I ever am is when I should be doing something everything's more entertaining I do.
Speaker 2:Well, that is why I bought that green laptop was purely for word. It's purely for word. And keltex, which is the screenwriting software, and slowly but surely it's somehow all these other apps have come on and like netflix. It's disgusting and it's ended up stopping my writing dreams and I've been watching netflix and going on the internet for me?
Speaker 3:I don't really it also frees all the fucking time because I've worked from home so much and I've had to be like that's what I do all day, every day, so I've got control over that yeah, that is.
Speaker 2:That is like training for it. Yeah, yeah, there's always something that looks way more entertaining than tapping away at a white page, but then you know that's the whole thing. Like nothing feels better than having worked out. Yeah, I always had it like, especially back at uni nothing feels better than having written, Like when you get to the end of like a draft and you're like written like when you get to the end of like a draft and you're like I've done that, you scroll up, you're like hang on, because sometimes you put it off, don't you?
Speaker 3:it's like a gym, but then it's like, once you've achieved something, the happiness you get from that's what you've got to try and remember is that, once it's done?
Speaker 2:you're only going to feel shit if you don't do it and if you do something and it does feel shy, then it's probably not the thing you want to be doing anyway and just quit. That's my motivational speech. If it's still crap when you finish it, don't bother just try again yeah, that's a good one. That might be better is that three or four journaling writing. Enjoy it and money.
Speaker 3:I don't want to get out there a bit more. What are?
Speaker 2:you going out though.
Speaker 3:I just want to get out there a bit more. Where are you?
Speaker 2:going out, though. I just want to get out there a bit more what going out going out clubbing, clubbing. Get down to the clubs no, we've got no fucking time.
Speaker 3:I'm joking, I should be writing. No, I just mean I definitely want to get out a bit more because my job at the minute is very like you are in it heavy. I want to be meeting more people, so with work. I want to be trying to make sure that I am getting out and about doing a bit more.
Speaker 2:Doing a bit more what? Outside work, socialising, or inside work, socialising, inside work? So I'm on about my career, yeah, finding new clients, finding new this year, this year.
Speaker 3:This will feel like I'm in 2024.
Speaker 2:So you're so you want to like just really drive home some new clients, meet new people, yeah so I'm going to be focusing quite a lot on my career in 2025. Nice, so so yeah, that's. And then how will you structure that? Is that because of like you're just looking at, like promotions and stuff like that?
Speaker 3:Um, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I mean, I suppose that's one of the only as long as I'm happy, know.
Speaker 3:I mean, I suppose that's one of the only it's happiness as long as I'm happy doing what I'm doing, then it's good If you land that lead and you're like, exactly, fist pump.
Speaker 2:I didn't look like a fist pump the angle. I just did that. Yeah, no, so that's five solid. You want more?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:That's it, Because that is one of doing too many. But if you pick out too many, you're just going to drag. I mean there is a lot there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I, this is actually.
Speaker 2:But they are kind of like separate.
Speaker 3:Do you know what? These are my normal Every year these have been the same kind of resolutions other than last year.
Speaker 2:But only but, like so start of 2024, you went. I want to write more.
Speaker 3:No, apart from last year.
Speaker 2:Oh, so last year so 2024 was your wild card year. Yeah, you were just like fuck it. See what happens.
Speaker 3:I think, yeah, I was a bit. I think I felt a bit lost last year.
Speaker 2:I don't remember New Year last year. I don't remember resolutions, that's it. I don't remember what did we do?
Speaker 3:Were you? Oh no, you went. Now, that's it. You were at home.
Speaker 2:I have no idea what happened last New Year. Didn't make any resolutions, just cracked on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, see, I did, but I didn't really make them. Yeah, I don't know, I just felt a bit lost last year and I just I was a bit fed up, I just wasn't in the right headspace.
Speaker 2:Where this year I'm like I'm back, babe. Yeah, fair enough. I mean, yeah, taking on too many at once is an issue, but I suppose some of yours you've got that are linked, like the journaling to the writing's good, the meeting new clients to the money saving's good. And then all of that do those four number one will come in joy, joy, joy, happy, happy, happy yeah, exactly that's the plan anyway, yeah, no, it's gonna so what we're going to do. You've got some stats and stuff, right?
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, I've got some stats, but what I think we should do?
Speaker 2:so tonight.
Speaker 3:What we're going to do is we're going to write. I started this back in 2012 when I was at DHL and I said to the team I was like right, everybody, write down what you want to achieve this year year, put it in an envelope and I'll give it back to you at the end of the year. So that's what we're doing tonight.
Speaker 2:Okay, I like it. Are we going to tell these geezers what we're doing, or is it going to stay in an envelope on the side and we reveal it?
Speaker 3:Well, they kind of know anyway, but from what we're just saying. But we are going to put whatever we want in there, let's do a secret resolution we can do secret ones, and then we'll come back to them at the end of the year.
Speaker 2:Cool, I'll keep them on to it and these guys will wait with bated breath for our envelope. Countdown times already Come on End 2025. I need to know what's in that bloody envelope. Jake wants to do more painting Okay, cool.
Speaker 3:But no, the stats, which is quite funny. So guess how many people fail.
Speaker 2:Okay, I was going to tell you. Guess how many people fail? Let's just go to it.
Speaker 3:So 80% of people oh, I was going to guess.
Speaker 2:Well, 80% of people.
Speaker 3:I was going to guess 95, but yeah okay, 80% of people fail their new year's resolution, and when do you reckon they do that?
Speaker 2:by within January no. December 31st, the first year end of. February and if that makes sense, yeah, that makes sense, yeah, that makes sense and only 8% of people. Follow through.
Speaker 3:By the end of the year 8%, I mean. I don't know how to calculate this, but yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know, I fully get that Because, once again, I think some people make ridiculous ones that are just so hard to achieve that it's like what are you even talking about? Like if I, if I said I want to be in space, yeah, by the end, I don't that terrifies me. But if I said that, like I want to be, I want to build a rocket and fly to space, I want to build a rocket and fly to space by the end 2025, I'm going to be one of the 92% that don't make it I mean, if you've had the brainpower to do it and you know how to do it, then you could.
Speaker 1:But yeah, you've got to do things that you know even if it's just minimal things, isn't there anything?
Speaker 3:just yeah, some people might. Well, do you think some people do actually like just staying where they are and not doing anything?
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I think that's a harder thing to achieve.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but do you think? No, it's not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3:Or not doing anything.
Speaker 2:No, no, because not doing anything, not in like a oh, I'm going to, I'm, you know, I don't know, I'm all the negative things anybody can be and I'm not going to make any changes. That's a bad person, right? If you've got some bigoted, xenophobic person who's like I'm happy with how I am, I'm not going to change, I'm going to stay a piece of shit, that's a bad person. But if someone goes, do you know what? I love my job. I love my house. I love everything that's happening right now.
Speaker 3:If my life stays like this for the next 30 years, 40 years, I'll be so happy, like if you think there's I don't think there's a problem with that but do you think there's actually a person out there that doesn't even want to tweak something, even if it's more time with their friends and family?
Speaker 2:surely?
Speaker 2:you can't have everything surely, but it will be. All. Their resolutions will be leaning into what they already have. Yeah, like so many people. Yeah, but some people lean. Their resolutions are always leaning away from where they are now rather than leaning into what they are Right. So if someone has, if someone's really happy, you know they've got their wife, their kids and their resolution is to like tell you what I'm going to. I'm going to go down to four days a week at work so I can spend more time with the kids. They're leaning into who they are already, whereas if they go, I tell you what. I spend a lot of time with these kids. I'm going to spend a day off work doing a hobby away from them Because I want to get into shape. I'm going to start going to the gym every night rather than putting the kids to bed, because I want to get into shape, and so what they do is they value getting into shape over spending time with their kids. They lean away from what's currently making them happy.
Speaker 2:Does that make sense? I think so, yeah. So I think there are people whose resolutions lean into who they are and it just improves who they are without having to make such a drastic change away from the life they currently live. Because a lot of people's New Year's resolution will be like I just want to go to move to australia. You know, I'm not happy with the life I've got here. I want to make a big old change and that's what they go and do and that is a big step away from who they are now.
Speaker 2:But there's a very good chance that they'll go to australia and they'll still be who they are, but they'll just be in australia, yeah, and they won't make any of the other changes that they may need to make. Or they won't, or they'll miss the things they did have and they didn't realize until they pissed off, or it'll be a great move and they'll be like oh my god, I can start complete fresh and they hit the ground running and they lean away from the person that they're leaving behind, because some people do need to leave the person behind that they are, but other people really do need to see the qualities that they already have and lean into them, which I think is harder to do because there's especially with this world of social media. Now you are constantly like why are you so shit? Look how good we all are. Why are you so shit, settling with what you're doing? And it's really easy to fall into the trap and be like god yeah, I am I am.
Speaker 2:Why am I not? Why am I not in my own helicopter right now? Why am I not, you know, in the moldies with my kids? Why? Why do they have to be in derby? What have I done wrong? But I could look back in 30 years and be like, fuck, I had it all. What was I doing? What was I pissing around with when I could be, when I could have been leaning into what I already had? Yeah, and that is the problem.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because I have actually put it on here During the year and I've put gratitude, that's it. So that's what I have actually put on there.
Speaker 2:So you're.
Speaker 3:To appreciate everything I've got in my life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if you, if you're starting to appreciate everything in your life, and's the thing you change.
Speaker 3:Well, that's it. Yeah, because you know, sometimes it can be people around you who are like oh well, you know, they can say something to you, like, oh, you know, like that can plant seeds to make you doubt how you are feeling, for sure. And I think that's something to kind of change. If you know if someone is doing that to you and you're feeling that you're not, you know you can't appreciate where you are because someone's whispering in your ear.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, because the worst thing you could ever have is a friend who's like you could go. Oh, I just got I don't know promoted at work, and they go them around because it's like yeah, because I know we're in the gig economy now. People are chopping and changing, doing different jobs to like you know, no one really stays in the same job for 50 years anymore. Everyone kind of like jumps from job to job. What that's it, though, and it would be nice if you could lay those roots and really like work, work yourself up in a company where you're, where you are happy during the time in the company, not you're miserable for 50 years and you get to the end of it. That's what I mean. If you were happy, that's it. You work your way up and you work your way up, but that doesn't really happen anymore, because you will have people who will be like have you looked, you know? And obviously, if your job's taking the piss out of you and they're like they keep you around for 30?
Speaker 3:you only think we have like an endemic of people who are, who are unable to be content with themselves. I do agree with that. Yeah, I do agree with that. It's like you know, like right now, like being single yeah it's the same like people are like well, you know it plants, seeds that sometimes you can be lonely, but I'm like do you know what?
Speaker 2:like that is a whole challenge, yeah it's like what freedom.
Speaker 3:I've got all of this and the other and I'm I've got nobody. Literally just I've got this little space around me. The maze is obviously yeah, of course that I'm like, if I'm in this bubble on our own, I am content. It's like I've got no one who can disturb my peace yeah there's a lot of people around me who can do that, but in my bubble there's no one. But sometimes if you've got people saying things like oh you know, I don't know, I can't think of an example someone says oh, I can't wait for you to get married.
Speaker 2:I'm like fuck, are you sure? When are you going to?
Speaker 3:start dating. That means you're going to be on your own. Your clock's ticking all these little things and I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, like back off, like let me just get those thoughts away from me that's it, yeah, because it says, if some people around you can plant seeds.
Speaker 3:But you've got to literally shut out the noise and really sit with yourself and think am I happy? What's making me happy? And that's what I constantly. I'm always having check-ins, yeah, but this year I kind of like there was things. Obviously it was hard because I have taken myself away from some people because of different things and that has been quite hard to deal with because, you know, I still like them and stuff. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It's never easy to do it. You always have memories and and you know relationships, don't just you can't just yeah, but it's like family as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can't just walk away from it and it just poofs away and you forget about it yeah, so it's like say family, for instance you've got any family and they're not like in your corner or they're not supporting you or whatever yeah, like it's.
Speaker 2:It's hard because you can't. I mean, that's the premise of that eternal sunshine. The spotless mind film is that jim carrey gets dumped by um kate winslet and he can't get past it. Like he's trying to, but he can't get past it. So he he hires a company to erase her from his memory, because that's the only way you can do it. It's just to completely forget about, and obviously that doesn't exist in real life. So you can't just do that and it may be the easiest way. You have to live with it.
Speaker 3:You have to live with it until You've got to learn how to live with it. It's like if someone dies and says you've got to. You never get over it. It's part of your DNA isn't it?
Speaker 2:You've just got pick up the phone to talk to like if you had a problem with something, you would. You would pick up the phone to call them. You will habitually, even when they've passed, pick up the phone to give them a ring and go. Obviously you can't whatever. So it's it's learning to live with the loss, whether that loss is a permanent one or whether it's just temp, it's for now, you know. It's learning to live with it and grow around it and protecting your bubble at the same time, because otherwise, if you let me, if you let them back in too soon, it's more for yourself you know exactly.
Speaker 3:It's like this year. In 2025, I feel like I've got my strength back again. After two years of like trying to sort everything out, I've got to this point when 2025, I'm not letting people have control of my happiness anymore like if they don't deserve, if they're, they don't deserve to be in my life or whatever, and I'm not happy with them. I'm taking that control back now because I'm not going to let it waste another minute.
Speaker 2:Solid, they're solid, they're solid. You know solid resolutions and your resolutions aren't. I do think you're leaning into who you are now.
Speaker 3:Oh, 100%, I'm happy. Well, do you think you're?
Speaker 2:leaning into who you are now. Oh, 100% I'm happy?
Speaker 3:Well, no, because in the episode, yeah, guys, I'm like full on wild, full frizzy.
Speaker 2:No, but in the episode you said is anyone actually, you know, content with themselves? No, but I mean I said leaning in and that's what you're doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but even like you can still be content with yourself but know, yeah, you want to change with life and not necessarily let life change you. That kind of thing, yeah, you want to roll, you want to be able to take on the new challenges and not kind of settle. Yeah, that kind of thing I get that. I get that because it can feel like maturing. Being an adult can just feel like settling a lot of time anyway, but also being content feels like settling. And that's the battle you have. Am I happy with where I'm at now or should I be doing something else? And you have to kind of flip between those lines and it's hard. But and we'll go into it next episode, I have a completely different angle to my New Year's resolutions can't wait to hear this one yours are.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm not going to lie. When you first told me about your resolution, I thought yours were going to be like I want to be running a marathon by the time I'm, you know, by November. I want to be like really, yeah, exactly, I thought. But you know, being fulfilled and all that lot and the money yours are attainable but what I've done different, see, I think it's built, keep building that solid foundation. Yeah, that's what all that's, my whole focus is that gives you a push-off point.
Speaker 3:You know, that's it.
Speaker 2:Um, it sounds exciting well, you tune in next week and you will. You will hear them because I've got. I've got five, I've got five solid ones. I know I said don't have too many because you won't be able to do them all, but mine, if you feel you can you can. The way I'm doing it, I'm going to bosh them all you do what you, you do you honey god, I hate that.
Speaker 2:so thanks for listening this week. Guys, if you are with Patreon, stay listening, because there will be some bonus content after this we're going to talk about. Well, we'll let the Patreon people know A little bit of a tease. Oh, I don't even need to add sound effects, so stay on if you're Patreon. If not, why not Rude? And we'll see everyone else next week.
Speaker 3:Oh, thanks so much, everyone, ciao.
Speaker 2:Ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening. We know time is precious and we thank you for yours. Please like and subscribe and we'll see you next week.
