30 Old 30 Young
30 Old 30 Young explores the fascinating contrasts of life in your thirties through the eyes of two cousins living vastly different paths. Join us as we navigate the uncertainties of adult life, from career choices to lifestyle decisions, through both a globetrotting adventurer's and a family-focused perspective.
Our main episodes dive deep into real-life challenges facing thirty-somethings today, while our mini-episodes break down the three best and worst aspects of pivotal adult life scenarios.
Whether you're questioning your life choices, seeking perspective, or just wanting to hear honest conversations about adulting, this podcast offers authentic insights into the beautiful chaos of your third decade. New episodes released weekly, featuring raw discussions about career transitions, relationships, mental health, and the endless quest for work-life balance. Your thirties don't come with a manual - but this podcast comes pretty close.
30 Old 30 Young
Dating in your 30's With Scott Gillett
Our FIRST guest is officially on the pod! We’re diving into the wild world of dating apps and how dating in your 30’s is a whole different game. From people who’ve had kids and don’t want more, blending families, to those wanting to start families, navigating exes, and the dynamics of people just coming out of divorces. Throw in the chaos of dating apps, and it’s a whole new level of complicated.
Tune in to hear all the laughs, struggles and the chaos that is modern dating.
Thanks for Listening, find more content at our Instagram @30old30young
two cousins taking different life paths discuss the highs and lows of being in your 30s, and nothing is off limits. This is life in your 30s. This is 30 old, 30 young hi everyone.
Speaker 2:This is 30 old, 30 young and we have our first special guest and I'm so excited to introduce you to a veteran of his 30s, a salesman, a dog dad, dog dad.
Speaker 3:Yeah, new dog dad, new dog dad.
Speaker 4:Well, year old, my little Jill.
Speaker 3:Dad of a child also. Yes 13 year old. 13 year old and the first guest on the pod. So that's the most important thing really. I feel honoured, Honoured.
Speaker 2:Oh, we feel honoured too literally. I feel like a celebrity. When you said you were going to go on, I was like, yes, scotty, let's get you on.
Speaker 4:Fuck yeah, bitches.
Speaker 2:Because how long have we known each other for now?
Speaker 3:There's going to be so many private jokes that I'm going to. I haven't joked around with that.
Speaker 2:No, there's not. How long have we known each other for? That's 2012. That's when I met you.
Speaker 4:Was it Jesus. So what's that now?
Speaker 2:2011, maybe. So what's that, Joe?
Speaker 4:You're the clever one 13 years, oh yeah, 12 years 12, yeah, 12 years.
Speaker 2:There you go so we used to work at DHL together, so, yeah, okay, what?
Speaker 3:I want to get into. First of all, dating in your 30s is difficult enough Fucking dating in your 20s is difficult. Dating in general is difficult, but we've got to keep to our demographic In your 30s is the hardest and there's more entertaining.
Speaker 4:But dating as a single dad, just dating in general is just dating. I mean I hate dating do you why? I don't hate it as a concept, but you know, like we're in that era where we've gone from two dating scenes, so we've gone from the dating scenes of meeting people in bars, can't do that at all. Well, you can.
Speaker 3:No, that's what I mean, because you're a weirdo if you ever talk to someone there.
Speaker 4:People in bars can't do that at all. Well, you know.
Speaker 3:That's what I mean, because you're a weirdo there's a good chance, I'm gonna be like can you fucking get away from me?
Speaker 2:no, okay, but carry on, but we're in that we're in that area where we've had.
Speaker 4:We've had that, so we've been into yeah, I see what you mean.
Speaker 2:Every weekend you go out, I get literally knock a 30 bump and go 310 and all that kind of stuff you know, anything goes at one stage.
Speaker 4:You you know, the more you drink, the prettier she gets, and all that kind of stuff. And then obviously we've gone to the internet dating, you know Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and all that kind of stuff. I hate it. Are you on them? I've been on them.
Speaker 2:Are you on them now?
Speaker 4:No, I just can't. Why I can't?
Speaker 2:stand it.
Speaker 4:I can't stand it, I can't stand, it Can't stand it, why yeah? Yeah, why are?
Speaker 3:you not on them? That's so weird. Everyone's on them except me. I keep matching my shot.
Speaker 4:She doesn't match me To me.
Speaker 2:Why are you not on them?
Speaker 4:I just I can't be arsed. Okay, having the same conversation oh, where's your hobbies? What are you into? What do you do in your spare time? Over and over and over again. And then you either get ghosted, yeah, or you go on a date with them, and they're not the person that you thought you were talking to.
Speaker 4:I mean I've been on a date before she's come up to me and like, hey, are you alright? And I'm like going, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've gone on a date before she's come up to me and like, hey, are you all right? And I'm like going, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've gone on a date with this person and I'm thinking who the fuck are you? Oh, you mean cat. Like basically, oh, catfish, oh, don't get me started Catfish.
Speaker 2:Oh, don't get me started on filters this is a while back, when I was in colmore.
Speaker 1:So I was working away in colmore I thought fuck it, I'm gonna get myself down meet someone down there. Yeah, I did so. He actually told me. He told me what he told me what.
Speaker 2:He told me what hotel to go to and, honestly, it was an incredible hotel.
Speaker 3:So anyway, basically, you just went for a bar, yeah it's no, I didn't.
Speaker 2:So he he went for some dinner at my hotel and, yeah, he was from down there and he said to me I can't believe you actually look how you do on. I think it was Tinder.
Speaker 4:I was like what do you mean? Do you know what I started doing now on? Well, if I'm when I'm on them, what you know when you take your photo? Right, your photo is not the mirror image of you. So I flip it. Yeah, so I flip it. Yeah, so it's actually me on the photo. So when they get there they're not as disappointed. Oh, shut up, scotty, when I turn up. But I flip the photo because that's actually me.
Speaker 2:So you won't go back on them, or do you go back on them time to time?
Speaker 3:I have been on them and everything but I literally can't be doing it.
Speaker 4:I'm in the same conversation over and over and over. I mean, like my dating life is just shite would you prefer to meet? Someone are you dating down the club yeah, no, I'd like to meet someone no, I've never dated in the club, in the club in the club 57 no it's like I'll have the music up then we'll sound really cool. Feel like we're going to do some grinding.
Speaker 2:In a minute I'll go out of it to the candy shop so yeah, so date and ask at the minute, or no, no, you just can't be bothered.
Speaker 4:I just can't be bothered having the same conversation over and over because at the end of the day, right when you go to the bar, yes, you are talking to that person and you're talking to that person and you've got energy there and you've got energy in the bar because you're probably that shit faced as well, but there's nobody out.
Speaker 4:there is probably people praying behind you and everything, but you have got that person's full attention On the apps. You are just a number, you are just a picture on that app and you've got to say the right thing at the right time to keep that person.
Speaker 3:To be fair, it's not true love, yeah, yeah, yeah, how dare you.
Speaker 2:I'm like.
Speaker 3:Brie on Tinder.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, so I'll edit that one out now.
Speaker 3:It's facts.
Speaker 2:It's just how I feel, although I must admit do you know what? I have been on Tinder. I think I went on it not so long ago for two days. I thought do you know what? Fuck it, I'll go back on it. And there have been some guys who followed me on Instagram and I was just like following them back. Whatever. That's creepy. No, it's not, Well no because some of them I was chatting to on Tinder or whatever app it was, I can't even remember.
Speaker 1:I was literally on there two days.
Speaker 2:No, it was just one. I can't remember what it was. No, it was Hinge. That was it. I went on it because I'd never been on Hinge.
Speaker 3:Is that the ladies talk first?
Speaker 2:No, it's Bumble, no Bumble. Where the fucking Hinge?
Speaker 3:at.
Speaker 4:Hinge, because when someone likes you, you actually get told who likes you. So Tinder, for example, you obviously oh, tinder just goes, someone has Someone's liked you, yeah.
Speaker 1:You pay £20 for a month and you can have it and we'll keep charging you afterwards.
Speaker 4:But Hinge, actually you only get four likes a day, right, but you do get to see who's See.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't, I don't know. That's good it is for a man, now for a woman.
Speaker 4:It must be just completely bombarded. I don't know it must be just.
Speaker 3:You can just if you're a woman they just meet bam, bam bam bam yeah they just meet sausage conveyor belt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is but anyway.
Speaker 3:So we, yes, exactly, but anyway, stop Anyway so we she's like, not denying it, yes, exactly.
Speaker 2:But anyway, stop. So. Obviously we follow each other on Instagram and you know I'm totally against meeting someone in the UK, but we chat from time to time, see their life, and to me that's more natural for me because it's not so much just on Tinder and I want to go on a date. If I'm watching their stories I'm like oh, do you know what? He's probably a bit of me. I'll meet up with a drink and I'll do it that way.
Speaker 3:That's quite nice well, yeah, but still internet dating. Yeah, but it's not like first.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's not forced, is it like, let's go on the date? I wasn't even looking. I went on for two days and I thought do you know what? I'll go on for two days. How long ago was this? This was quite a while ago and I went on for two days. A couple of guys added me, added them back. Fine, yeah, that's it, but I'm still not getting anything for them write that down, jesus, tell the grandkids about that one.
Speaker 3:No, I mean what. I think the main aim of all dating apps is to take it off the dating app.
Speaker 2:So as soon as you get off the app. The last first date.
Speaker 4:Well, Hinge's.
Speaker 3:The idea is to delete the app right, yeah, delete the app.
Speaker 4:He didn't even know about Hinge or Smith.
Speaker 3:Now he knows all about it. Yeah, I remember it.
Speaker 2:No, Hinge wasn't out when you were out, Jake.
Speaker 3:No, I had the most basic Tinder. We could just. Tinder was great, I could just. I love it, because obviously now you get like limits and then charge you and then you can only do so many things.
Speaker 3:Yeah back in day you just go on a dating app because then you can vet who you're talking to. I did see a video the other day. The girl was like you gotta be careful on these dating apps, because she had this guy on the screen and then she ran his name through like the local space and he was wanted on GBH and Kidnappers.
Speaker 2:Fucking hell. Well, I remember I went on a date once and obviously in my glass I can see who's the other side and before In your what. Through my glass, my front door.
Speaker 4:Oh right.
Speaker 2:I can see who's there and literally I was walking this was right when I was first single and then I looked and I was like, oh, I don't want to spend the day with him. And literally I knew straight away, before I even opened the door, he wasn't right.
Speaker 3:So if you're on the app, you could have just got rid of him and ghosted him.
Speaker 2:I was. This was on Tinder.
Speaker 3:But you'd invited him over.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because I thought through texting oh god, there might be a spit of something here and I, just before I even opened the door, I thought nah, not for me. You gotta look at like. You gotta look at how quickly they're responding on text. If they're replying really witty and quickly back to you, that's probably how they are in person. But if they reply like 20 minutes later with something witty, they've probably thought about it for fucking ages or they could just be busy because I'm a shit texter and I'm dating someone you're shit.
Speaker 4:Texts are in general life. Thanks, babes.
Speaker 3:Have you uninstalled the apps or are they just like gathering dust on your phone?
Speaker 4:No, I've just uninstalled them.
Speaker 2:Would you go back on them? Yeah, I've got no problem going on them Whenever you're ready.
Speaker 4:But the thing is, when you go on it it's like, oh, she's here again, she's here, she's here.
Speaker 2:You need to get outside of Derby, you, alright.
Speaker 3:Margaret, margaret, how you doing.
Speaker 2:Whenever I go out abroad, I always meet loads of guys what's your age range?
Speaker 3:on it, if you don't mind me asking.
Speaker 4:No one About 33. Nice To about 43, 44.
Speaker 3:So is it half your age, per se.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I don't want to. The thing is, I don't want any more kids. You know, now I've got a 13-year-old. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Been there done that yeah.
Speaker 4:I mean, if it happened, it happened, but that gap's wild innit. But I don't, because I'm now nearly 40. I'm starting to get like my life back, especially having a teenager and everything you know she doesn't depend on me as much and all that kind of stuff, and I don't want to go back to the nappy stage.
Speaker 3:I'm with you 100%. I've got a one year old and I don't want to go back. Yeah, I just don't want to do it.
Speaker 4:I just don't want to. It's going to put me back massively because time I know it, you know, if I had a kid at 40, you know, times 10, I'll be 50. I'd be knackered. Yeah, I would literally be knackered. So I just don't. And then obviously I just I don't think I'd be able to keep up, so you're dating within the women that are pro.
Speaker 3:The question probably comes up when you're talking on these dating apps anyway, like Well, a lot of them now actually have the thing I don't want kids.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I've got children I don't want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a lot of them.
Speaker 3:fine, save time for it, yeah, yeah and that is that is where I thought like the positive would be in dating in your 30s. It seems like, do you mind it might be a little bit more efficient, like everyone is kind of more inclined to know what they want, present company excluded.
Speaker 4:But there's a problem with dating in your 30s because, especially in your late 30s as well yeah, Because the people that you tend to meet are and this is going to sound awful, but have been through some shit yeah they probably grew up after the divorce. Divorce or the Widowed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, See I wouldn't date anyone who's just been divorced. You've got to give them two years, that's a heavy rebound yeah, but do you know what?
Speaker 2:heavy rebound, yeah, but do you know what? Some guys jump straight back into a relationship, whatever. But you need to give yourself two years, for sure. And if you don't, do you know what? Some people are different. They've probably they wanted to divorce 10 years prior to separate, and but they still need time on their own and they've got to have, they've got to find themselves. Yeah, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. I needed these. I've needed like it's been seven years since I've been in like a proper, you know, but I'm so I needed that time but the problem is so, because it's actually been less than that, but still and I haven't dated quite a few guys, but you know, I've.
Speaker 4:I've classed myself as single for seven years because it's the last time you're in love.
Speaker 2:Not necessarily, but the long seriousness, yeah for sure the other ones are like three months, so I don't class, no, they're not. They're just dating, aren't they?
Speaker 4:they're just dating school, stuff like that yeah so, but the problem is is when you get, when you start telling people how long you've been single for, because that's one of the key questions how long have you been single for? And you don't want to lie to them.
Speaker 1:It's like a gap in your resume seven years and they're obviously thinking what the fuck's?
Speaker 2:wrong with this?
Speaker 4:guy. Why is he single? He's obviously a narcissist.
Speaker 3:I mean or he's catfishing me or something is going on.
Speaker 4:He's a wrong end look at me, fittest male we have a competition, david Lloyd, and one of one of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one of them. No, no, no wait, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 4:It's nothing to do with that, just a fit, just look at me oh, sorry, sorry I mean yes, I knew how many men you had.
Speaker 3:Brad Pitt in the make.
Speaker 2:No, but we have. We have a men's challenge, just quickly for the listeners about what the fuck they're talking about. We have a MAPS challenge and we have a fittest male, a fittest female, and Scotty always says he's a fittest male, not females.
Speaker 3:I mean male. Let me explain to the listeners. We have a MAPS challenge and didn't explain what that was.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's just a bag you put around you and it accumulates. You get done no, but he says it's based on looks, isn't it Scotty? Yeah, mine's based on looks. Oh, okay, you've got a different belt, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:I'm a famous male in looks he's a fitter than me. Basically maps, just so people can see it, it's it's Facebook for hearts, actual hearts. That's basically what it is, yeah it is.
Speaker 2:I suppose it is because you like, because you like people's red.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're really struggling in that one Good job.
Speaker 4:But that's what you, that's what we do, you nearly died in that one. But it's Facebook for hearts. That's all it is. It's how fast your heart's beating.
Speaker 2:See, I think, going back to dating, I'm like an old school gal I love. I'm all about walking somewhere and just meeting someone or just whatever like true love.
Speaker 3:You're like a walking hallmark movie, aren't you?
Speaker 2:I am a Disney girl you really are Christ but I think you know venues should have more like evenings, so just single people speed dating no, not even speed dating.
Speaker 4:I couldn't do it, yeah, but no, no, as soon as she sat down. I wasn't because you have to be no, not speed dating.
Speaker 2:Just being in a restaurant just chatting, yeah, I suppose in my mind speed days and I've got that.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be, like, attracted to every single person I'm talking to. They're going to be attracted to me and we're going to have a great time, but most likely it's not going to add up.
Speaker 4:I do believe that you can fall in love with somebody with a personality, but when you literally are starting out.
Speaker 2:See, I don't. I do go on personality quite a lot.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, no, because you knew when you looked through the glass that guy was a wrong one.
Speaker 2:I had a vibe there was a vibe.
Speaker 3:No, he's still on.
Speaker 2:I couldn't see him. I couldn't. He was five foot. I couldn't see all I just knew straight away.
Speaker 1:I just had a feeling. So basically, you just saw this blurred vision
Speaker 2:yeah, I couldn't see his face, but I just saw like an outline. I hope there's, someone stood there right now you see an outline, but straight away just something in me was like no, yeah, but that's obviously because he's done something. No, he hasn't. I couldn't even see his face properly.
Speaker 4:No, he's done something when he's been talking to you.
Speaker 2:No because he was cool. No, I feel like I just got of a blurred vision you invite.
Speaker 3:Honestly, it happened, you invite him over when you guys were having a good chat and afterwards you kind of like were like, oh, I'm not sure I can be bothered.
Speaker 2:Then he turned up and you're like, oh god no, honestly, I saw him like I didn't see him, because you'll see what I mean when you come one day. You look through my glass and I just got, I just had, yeah, but you still but on Tinder though. So you're saying about personality and everything yeah, but on Tinder, oh it's, you've got to like. Look, you do not get that. That is true. You've got to like them first, haven't you?
Speaker 4:you've got to go basically on the looks you shouldn't go oh, he's absolutely ugly, got a great personality but then that's what that other app's about.
Speaker 2:yeah, but on the bio, sometimes that's like banter.
Speaker 3:There's no pictures, it's just chat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's why I couldn't do speed games.
Speaker 2:It doesn't exist in the real world Because, if she sat down and she wasn't.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but on Hinge For me then I'd be like my face would just be like, oh fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but on Hinge you've got to write quite a lot.
Speaker 4:Lot on there you put on and I can you know, even if I'm not 100 on looks I'm like he sounds quite interesting.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I can't remember it.
Speaker 4:It's the idea I'd go on that interesting sound interesting. Yeah, like someone sounds interesting I've got me, yeah, that's it basically on dating apps. You're a number in the picture, that's that's it, that you that is.
Speaker 3:That's all you want you go through rounds of auditions yeah, if you don't pass the look test you, you're gone.
Speaker 4:But just going back though the whole dating app thing. You're talking to someone, you go on a date and I've been ghosted and I have done it in the past. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, I've run out of steam, but you know I've got to an age now where I'm like no, if I don, I'm not going to say, look, you're a massive minger, or something like that. He just wasn't for me. Yeah, blah, blah, blah, but give them closure, yeah.
Speaker 1:And if there's one thing have a courtesy. Yeah, if one thing.
Speaker 4:if you don't like it, done to you A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:Do not do it to them.
Speaker 4:Because you might not like the answer. You might not like it when they say, well, you're not for me. Tell them, don't ghost them.
Speaker 3:I can't hate people and that's what social media has allowed you to do. If you're in a conversation and someone goes, how are you? And you go and you just walk off. That's the fucking weirdest thing ever to do. On the phone you go, but you match with them in the first place, aren't interested. You have to say you either have to get rid of them before they even say a word to you or if they do say something like that, sorry, not interested yeah, but I do see what you mean.
Speaker 2:I suppose you get like thousands. So I do see what you mean, but then when you've got a busy life, it's just like oh, effort, yeah, but you think they're not really that interested, probably talking to 15 other women.
Speaker 3:They are, but it's good to filter through.
Speaker 2:But if you've been on a date with them oh, if you've been on a date, okay, it's different. Sorry, I didn't realise that.
Speaker 4:I just think like so I've like talked to people in the past and everything, and I'm sure it happens to women, but I'm only going on from my own experience. You're talking to them and you know you get a lot of profiles saying don't just say hi to me. What do you want me to say to you? I don't know you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're out of the age bracket now where I've got to come up with a zany little opening line.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, happy Tuesday Go on you're back with me.
Speaker 2:Hello, how are you? A fun fact. Oh, tell me a fun fact.
Speaker 3:Fuck off, not got time for this. It's busy, Okay.
Speaker 2:I've got Honestly, yeah, but it's so cringe, isn't it? On a date, and that the whole thing is you have to.
Speaker 3:If you've gone on the app, you have to be ready to just put yourself out there and be like I'm ready.
Speaker 2:You have to make a bit of a twatty yourself. No, it's hard enough at work.
Speaker 3:And then you meet your future wife in the car park of an Indianapolis McDonald's and you go from there. But where?
Speaker 2:I was going with that is can we go to another country? Would it be the same in Derby?
Speaker 3:I was in another country and I had a nice British accent would it be the same in Derby?
Speaker 2:would you have been happy or not?
Speaker 3:it would have been a lot less Canadians.
Speaker 4:There you go but where I was going. I'm sorry, I've just sat here. Basically, you know you invite me on and you just don't even know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you go on it.
Speaker 4:So hey, how are you? Yeah, I'm not bad, thank you. How are you? Yeah, I'm really good, thank you. What have you got planned?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's the weekend question, isn't it?
Speaker 4:What have you got planned this weekend? Or what did you do at the weekend? Yeah, oh, I just cute. Oh right, we. You could at least say what did you do? Yeah, so you're like all right, that's really good.
Speaker 2:Did you enjoy? That?
Speaker 4:I.
Speaker 2:I went out and did yeah, is that because we're in sales, though? Because I'm very chatty, I don't know, but I'll write a story I, if someone's talking to me, I'll tell them everything, because I want to know everything about them.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but then you go on and ask another question it's yes and yes and yes and and then they come back and like, oh, they just da, da, da, da da. You're like, well, where's the fucking conversation going?
Speaker 1:well, they're not. They're not the ones, are they?
Speaker 4:you're not you're not talking to me. This is a two way conversation. That's what I ate about dating, and there's where it's a one-way conversation that you try your hardest to keep it going. You think, well, they're talking to me, so they're obviously interested to a degree because you just won't talk to them. But it shouldn't be difficult, but it shouldn't be difficult.
Speaker 2:I do see what you mean. If you go on a date with someone and I've never ghosted someone I've been on a date with ever, maybe once.
Speaker 3:Actually sorry, but he did have a girlfriend, so oh okay, then fair enough, and I'm just like I'm not even gonna.
Speaker 2:He knows what he's done if he hasn't told you about a girlfriend he's not really exactly, but if I've been on a date with someone and it wasn't right, I'd just tell them straight. I'd be like, look, I'm really sorry, you know, whatever and the same, I've never been.
Speaker 4:I used to. I wouldn't do it now.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't. It's not fair. Exactly, treat people like you want to be treated, for sure, absolutely.
Speaker 4:It's when you go on and like talk to them, and then you've just the photo's gone and you like play a little sad song in your brain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's because they've probably come off the dating app.
Speaker 4:No, no, I'm on about like because, if you've gone on a date. Yeah, yeah, they're deletion Savage Block.
Speaker 2:What they've not even messaged you back from the day. Yeah, terrible, god, I can't even leave a group chat, yeah, but do you know what, though, Thinking about the other person on the other end? If that happened to me, or whatever anyone, they're obviously going to be thinking well, is it me, and that's going to affect them as Just give closure.
Speaker 4:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Give closure Always. If you're not interested in that person, just give closure to them.
Speaker 3:I feel like Tinder should have an automatic message that if you do get unmatched, a message gets sent through saying like sorry, this isn't for you right now. You've probably already come off but if you've got that far and you're? I think yes because you shouldn't have to give an explanation as to why you're not interested someone.
Speaker 2:You just not but then if you meet well, no, because I was going to say if you meet someone naturally, it might be different, but then I have met people naturally and they have been to us well, yeah, twice are out there, whether you meet them on tinder yeah, 100%, yeah, yeah absolutely see.
Speaker 4:I'm away from the place, like when I'm having a conversation. I'm literally like jumping from one conversation to another, to another, to another. I don't do that on a message.
Speaker 2:What do you mean On?
Speaker 4:a text message.
Speaker 3:I'm not jumping from conversation to conversation it would seem like a bit, yeah, but you know, like you know like, like today.
Speaker 1:I've been going.
Speaker 4:I've been wanting to go, I want to say that, but I can't because I'm being recorded and it would just sound really weird if I just come out and go, because you'd be like what the fuck's he going on about?
Speaker 2:So in your 40s, do you want to meet someone?
Speaker 4:I don't know if I want to meet someone in my well, if I don't meet someone in my 40s, then I think I'll just live alone and give up.
Speaker 2:Nah, you'll meet someone, if you want to, that's if you want to, that's, if you want to, that's, if you want to do. You know what I mean.
Speaker 4:You might not want to the thing is, though and where I was going with what you were talking about earlier seven years you get very comfortable in your own life. Yeah, you know, and if you've not lived with someone for a long time then coming into you've mentioned it on the podcast before you come home, you do what the fuck you want you want to go? To Italy. You fuck off to Italy. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah.
Speaker 2:You just live life on your own terms.
Speaker 3:When you start, someone else brings their routine to it?
Speaker 4:Yeah, and if you've been single for seven years or whatever, and then someone's come into it and then they've. Most likely, if you meet somebody at my age, you meet somebody at my age, it's like I've got kids. So that depends on how old the kids are and all that kind of stuff. So that can add complications to it. They may be younger, they may be older. Merging families, christ yeah, but then it's like I'm going to do. I'm going to go skiing in January.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? You're going skiing in January.
Speaker 2:Well, I've already got it booked. What?
Speaker 4:are you saying, well, you've got it booked.
Speaker 2:Well, what do you mean? See, I couldn't live like that because I've been so controlled that's what I mean.
Speaker 2:I've had relationships where I went to london, for instance. I was dating a guy and I went to london with the girls and we missed a train home and he rang me and he was screaming down the phone so you've done it on purpose. And I was in tears because I knew what happened when I got back and I knew he was going to be pissed off with me and it's like I couldn't live with that and like now I'm happy like I didn't have anyone doing that to me.
Speaker 3:It's great, you could just bring him off straight away.
Speaker 2:No, I didn't. But you know is what it is. But but now it's like when I went to Italy, I was doing my own thing for two days, living on my own timeline, everything, and then, as soon as I went to go meet my friend, for instance, you, you get someone else involved. What time are you coming? All the time, hurry up. I'm like fuck's sake, yeah, but I just like living on my own life.
Speaker 4:She's been amazing these last few, this last couple of weeks. Thanks.
Speaker 2:Scotty.
Speaker 4:I think it's the clock change she even said that the other day. The clock change.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the clock change. Yeah, the clock changed. She's been an hour late to everything, yeah, but she just hasn't realised. Yeah.
Speaker 4:She's actually been, she's beaten me to the gym and everything. It's like are you here? I'm like just turning up now. It's like I'm here, I know it's going to go downhill very, very quick. Enjoy it.
Speaker 3:I'm moving the house now.
Speaker 4:It's like you know obviously you've talked about it. She's talked about skiing and everything. So last year I didn't want to go skiing. Never, ever wanted to go skiing in my life. Really, yeah, it's fucking cold, it's absolutely freezing, freezing. If you're going to go on holiday, go where it's bloody hot, you sound like my wife reason um if you're going to go on holiday, go where it's bloody hot.
Speaker 4:Yeah, don't, don't go where it's bloody cold. But I was lying in bed one day talking to charlotte on the phone come skiing, come skiing, come skiing. I'm like I don't want to go skiing. Come skiing, come skiing, come skiing. So I'm like, well, whatever, charlotte, I'll speak to, I'll speak to him. In the morning I did sleep on it. I thought you know what? I've never wanted to go skiing in my life. But it's three days. It's not a job, is it?
Speaker 1:It's not like.
Speaker 4:I'm not committing to like a job or anything where I've got to be. You know you're in that job and, funny enough, I was only having this conversation with my friend the other day, but I thought you know what? Three days, if I don't like it, I can go and do something.
Speaker 2:Never go again. I don't have to go again.
Speaker 4:I've wasted three days of my life and all that Ring. Charlotte, I've booked or text or whatever Booked skiing. I'm not coming, no more. Are you fucking kidding me, you dickhead?
Speaker 1:I thought you went, though.
Speaker 4:Yeah, she did she did in the end yeah. But I'm like are you fucking kidding? Yeah, I'm going to, you're just fucking travelling. You've just convinced me to go skiing and now you're not going. Halfway through the year she says, oh, I'm going skiing now. Oh, my well, that's very nice but you had a great time best time of my life exactly because the thing is with Scotty.
Speaker 2:It was fucking bacon. It wasn't even common the thing is with Scotty right dead, miserable yeah, like it can be so miserable. You earn shit loads of money and sometimes you do one holiday a year like you've almost paid your mortgage off. I was like you need to do things I said scotty, you need to do things. That's going to get you out there, that's going to make you happy. And sometimes you don't realize what these things are and you do it's like oh fucking hell I think it's so.
Speaker 4:People put me down as miserable. But I'm not miserable, I'm happy.
Speaker 3:I just come across miserable I don't know, I wasn't getting miserable from you. No, he's not miserable.
Speaker 2:No, I can, yeah, but sometimes you do feel down in the dumps though, don't you? Especially this time of year?
Speaker 4:Yeah, exactly, especially this time of year, season depression, fucking hell.
Speaker 1:You know, this year I've not got it.
Speaker 2:You've not got it.
Speaker 4:No, do you know why?
Speaker 2:Why I've kept myself busy.
Speaker 4:I've purposely gone out and done stuff. So this week I know we only changed it, Was it this?
Speaker 2:week we changed it, or was it last week? Last week, whenever it was yeah, so this week so far.
Speaker 4:I mean, we're only on Tuesday. I've been to the gym, yeah, did running club, yeah, and it was already dark so it was too late for me. Do you know what I mean? But we did that. I sat and had a cup of tea while you went and did Blaze, because I wasn't doing that Tuesday. Today I'm sat here, so I'm keeping busy. Wednesday I've got my daughter. Thursday I'm playing poker.
Speaker 3:Nice.
Speaker 4:And then I don't play poker, right.
Speaker 2:I think it's the thing is. When it's cold and dark. I think it's the thing is when it's cold and dark, you do tend to keep yourself indoors, and I do. Then this does worry me so much because when you work from home and you don't have to leave, you can easily hide oh, every dinner time I literally get up, take that dog for a walk, but I don't want to.
Speaker 4:But I get up and I take it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but some people great, yeah, but some people don't have that and they work from home and I think sometimes people don't understand the impact it has on your mental health. And it does have a lot, because sometimes it's easy to hide.
Speaker 4:I work three months from home and I was losing my fucking mind I do it like so much, don't forget that you've got three months at home, but then you've got break coming home well, that's it I was talking to I literally, oh yeah, I literally have nobody. So I don't see anybody from Monday to to Wednesday, and then I have my daughter and then you know teenagers in a room shuts herself off.
Speaker 2:So I'm supposed to, I'm supposed to just sit on my own yeah, but I get it because in this job that I'm in now I do spend a lot of time at home and I don't have anyone. I have my dog and she's great. You didn't get me wrong. But you know, sometimes it's easy to just stay at home and do nothing. And it's like even my best friend like she works from home and she was saying to me that she's just in the same world but she has her boyfriend coming home, she has a daughter still and she says she still struggles. It does worry me so much about where the future's going when people work from home. It does does worry me a lot.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I'm not saying that you need to be like in like the office, water cooler and all that lot to like get through Just, but I think you just need to be. And it's a shame because we spend, we work so we can afford the house that we're living in, but then being in the house for too long makes you go fucking mad. But you need to just have a little bit of change of scenery, 100%, because I have days where I go out on the road and I fucking love it.
Speaker 3:I love being out on the road.
Speaker 4:It's so good, I don't even mind what's going on. No, I'm the same to be fair. But it's like it's poker. I can't play poker, but all the people who have joined this poker group none of us can play.
Speaker 4:None of us can play, so we only put a tenner in. Or someone's husband fucking asked yeah. So we literally, yeah, well, I won last one, so I was happy, but we, we literally took a tenner in, yeah, and that is it. So, you know, because it can get stupid, oh yeah, and we've all got chips and everything, and the chips, to be fair, it's who's got the most chip wins at the end of it.
Speaker 2:And all that kind of, because you get to meet people and you're going out your house. I'm having such a good laugh You're getting their vibes everything I've never wanted to play poker in my life.
Speaker 4:I've had the opportunity to play poker and I've gone. Nah, don't want to do it. I don't know how to play, and then someone said do you want to play poker with just a ten? And I was like you, I'm coming out of a comfort zone and that was a bit like the skiing thing which we were talking about just a minute ago. I'm going to come out of a comfort zone and I'm going to go if I don't like it.
Speaker 3:I can just say I'm not coming next month.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm actually it's the third. Get yourself out there a bit more.
Speaker 4:And that's the good thing about.
Speaker 2:It's nice that you said I was miserable. You're a miserable bastard. No, I have not said that. I know there's people on this thing going. He's fucking, he is miserable no, I'm just saying he is fucking miserable and they're going to text me now going.
Speaker 4:I'm going to listen to it and they're like you are a miserable bastard mate you've done well at Disney in Wales.
Speaker 3:You've been having a great time, yeah that was the last one yeah that was last week but last week.
Speaker 2:But there has been times where you're like I fucking hate life. It's shit right now and it's normal. It was always those times exactly it's normal to be like that sometimes and it's like I would say I felt like that the past year and a half, since I've left my other job, because before I was out on the road all the time, you know, I was covering the southwest of the country and I was loving it, but now I'm at home, so much, and it does have an impact on you change it up, aren't you?
Speaker 2:but that's why yeah, if you well, it's just like, yeah, well I can't yeah there's so much admins, do you just like kind of stay at home, but it's important to get out there.
Speaker 4:You've got to force yourself I do force myself and and to be fair in these last probably this is going to sound a bit corny and everything. But since you said about going to skiing, yeah, that's where I've started to get out a little bit more and everything I could have done better. I'm not going to lie and I'm coming across like a right, miserable bastard here, but I just get comfortable in my own way, if you get me.
Speaker 3:so you're going more with the whole yes man thing You're saying yes to nothing put yourself out there, but also still knowing the power of no.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I can say no. Yeah, the one thing I can't stand is when people pressure me. That's one thing I can't stand.
Speaker 2:I always do that.
Speaker 4:No, but there's this.
Speaker 2:I'm always like pressure me to do things.
Speaker 4:There's pressure and there's I'm always like pressuring you to do things, but there's like there's pressure and there's pressure, so like there's somebody that will keep asking me the same question, same question, same question Are we going to do this? Are we going to do this, are we?
Speaker 3:going to do this Are we going to do this cave if that makes sense, because I would have said yes, straight away, yeah, but the more you pressure me, the more I'll go into a cave and I'm like Unless you've got some brand new information in the tournament that makes me want to do this.
Speaker 4:So the next year, I mean, I'll get an extra week off because I've been at the company for 10 years. So there's a few of us. We're on about doing Oktoberfest, nice, do it.
Speaker 2:Do Octoberfest.
Speaker 4:Nice, do it, do it. Yeah, someone did it this year. I mean, I'll be honest with you, he looks a right twat in his outfit. Send me the photo he went to Manchester, right yeah, and he sent me the outfit and I was in fucking tears with laughter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you have to commit to the bit.
Speaker 4:And, to be fair, I've got this guy on my phone in his outfit. So every time he rings me his outfit pops up and I said to him you're going to look a right twat. You know he's going to look a right twat. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I get a text message Mate, you're never going to fucking believe it. No one's fucking dressed up. He says it's like two or three people dressed up. He says I like two or three people dressed up.
Speaker 3:He says oh right twat. So wait, did he go to an octopus in Manchester? Yeah, and I said, oh, I'm not fucking dressed up.
Speaker 4:No, and I said to him I said, look, this is how this is. Literally it's going to be fucking Mickey Mouse from wish. Yeah, do you know what I mean? It's fucking going to be terrible. The princess is going to look like they're on the crackles and all that kind of stuff. You know what I mean.
Speaker 4:So yeah, so I'm like if you're going to do something like that, you've literally got to go to the place. So I was literally like ask, ask X, y and Z if they want to go, ask Thing if they want to go. Spoke about it at the fireworks. A couple of people said yeah, I'll go. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:Oh, I didn't hear about this Sneak one behind my back.
Speaker 4:Well, you were probably at the bar, it's the boys, isn't it?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. So there's a few of us going to.
Speaker 4:Oh, how cool is that? Up as dicks with us, not in the middle of Manchester?
Speaker 2:yeah, and you're in Germany yeah exactly cool if he did that.
Speaker 3:He probably looked like he just worked at the October.
Speaker 4:Fair. No, he looked a right dick, trust me. He got this little hat right and I said to him you fucking nick that from Woody from Toy Story. I'm like, have you got fucking your name on the bottom of your shoes because? You did look a dick, so yeah that's something I'm going to do next year. I think that's what we're going to do so bringing it back.
Speaker 4:Just a bookend. You have to ruin the moment, don't you bring it back? I could sit here all night. I'm coming back me. Well, if I don't, they don't like me, or I've just got miserable and I just can't be arsed to come out.
Speaker 2:I didn't mean that, that'sty. Bring it back to me.
Speaker 3:Cycle it all round. You can conclude the episode about dating in your 40s 30s.
Speaker 4:It's shit.
Speaker 2:So your goals, your back's going to tell you Right.
Speaker 4:Yeah, my mind's going to be. I can't go into the kitchen now and look how I've done.
Speaker 2:So your goals for your 40s do. More city breaks. So your goals for your 40s do more city breaks.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean surely you've got loads of listeners. I mean just put my photo out there. Just help me please okay, we'll do it.
Speaker 2:Shall we do it? We'll try and get you a date.
Speaker 3:We'll get you a date we'll do a whole thing like with our guests and have your photo in there as well, let's try and get Scotty a date.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's not hard, you know, we'll bring a wig next time. Do you?
Speaker 4:think this guy's ugly or really ugly Matchmaking in your 30s.
Speaker 2:Right, okay, so a date. That's what we're going to do. We're going to set you up, we're going to get you a date.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but she's got to be fit.
Speaker 2:Obviously.
Speaker 3:Well, that's all. Our fans are banging mate Excellent.
Speaker 2:So we'll get you a date.
Speaker 4:I knew there was a reason why I came. That's it.
Speaker 2:Right, we'll get you a date, We'll put you on there and let's see what we can do. And then we'll have you back on once you know.
Speaker 3:You both decided that dating in your 30s is tough.
Speaker 4:Oh, 100%, okay, 100%.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's not, it's just if you're ready or not, isn't it? No, it's not, it really is.
Speaker 4:For a fucking five foot eight guy. I mean, let's just put it out there now so people are not disappointed when I turn off. Five foot eight guy, bald head, there's not a lot going for you. Oh, and a tubby little butt.
Speaker 2:Oh, fuck off, Scotty, fit this man up.
Speaker 4:I know exactly.
Speaker 2:You just need to get yourself out there more when you go to Germany. You Exactly, you just need to get yourself out there more when you go to Germany.
Speaker 4:You know, when we went skiing, people got my passport and they went. You're quite good looking, weren't you, scott? I had fucking hair, oh, so rude as well, I had fucking hair, Just as we're still queuing up for the fucking plane. You're quite good looking with hair. Oh, thanks guys.
Speaker 3:Oh, are you feeling good? Right now yeah, just yeah. If you're excited for skiing, get roasted, I mean some women like bald hair.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of women that don't.
Speaker 2:But there's a lot of women that do. You've just got to go find them. You're in sales, aren't you? You're used to rejection and building your pipeline. Go do it, you're in sales you're used to it.
Speaker 4:Pipeline of the women. Get yourself a pipeline Get yourself your use like an Excel spreadsheet with the names and their ages and where they're from, and all that kind of stuff, vino, cup, do it all Kids number of kids they've got.
Speaker 2:Case of Pipeline Scotty. Any forties, forties are for you.
Speaker 4:Invite me on your fort when I'm 40.
Speaker 3:I'll come here on my birthday.
Speaker 4:If it's a weekday, I'll come here on my birthday and you can record me call me do a recap we can have a little birthday cake before you're then forgotten by the pod because you yeah, I'll set my own up, yeah
Speaker 2:40 on, 40 on yeah fuck you guys wait, he's ruining the franchise.
Speaker 3:That's the whole thing yeah, cool, alright.
Speaker 2:So dating in 30s for you is it's?
Speaker 3:toss and for you toss. She likes it. I don't know yet. Are you on hold?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's on hold at the minute. Wait till, I will get back out there.
Speaker 3:The last five years. You want to go to New York, but in Italian-American Exactly my last five years.
Speaker 2:I'll get myself back out there, but right now I'll be eh-eh.
Speaker 4:If you're in Italian-American, go to New York.
Speaker 3:In.
Speaker 2:Italian.
Speaker 3:And we'll see you next week. Ciao, ciao.
Speaker 2:Ciao, ciao Ciao.
Speaker 4:I love Italian man.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening. We know time is precious and we thank you for yours. Please like and subscribe and we'll see you next week.
