30 Old 30 Young
30 Old 30 Young explores the fascinating contrasts of life in your thirties through the eyes of two cousins living vastly different paths. Join us as we navigate the uncertainties of adult life, from career choices to lifestyle decisions, through both a globetrotting adventurer's and a family-focused perspective.
Our main episodes dive deep into real-life challenges facing thirty-somethings today, while our mini-episodes break down the three best and worst aspects of pivotal adult life scenarios.
Whether you're questioning your life choices, seeking perspective, or just wanting to hear honest conversations about adulting, this podcast offers authentic insights into the beautiful chaos of your third decade. New episodes released weekly, featuring raw discussions about career transitions, relationships, mental health, and the endless quest for work-life balance. Your thirties don't come with a manual - but this podcast comes pretty close.
30 Old 30 Young
Mini Episode - am I really the A*hole (Halloween Edition)
In this Halloween episode, we dive into “Am I the A-Hole?” moments, tackling weaponized incompetence, house chores, and navigating parenting pressures—like that silent judgment between parents over whose kids are “better.” Plus, we answer listener questions from Instagram with shout-outs to some of you! Join us for a funny, spooky look at the tricks and treats of adulting.
Thanks for Listening, find more content at our Instagram @30old30young
this is life in your 30s.
Speaker 2:This is 30 old, 30 young welcome back to 30 old 30 young. The halloween special from cousins charlotte and jay. From 30 old 30 young hello, cousin charlotte.
Speaker 3:Welcome to the cult of 30 Old, 30 Young. So I wanted to obviously it's an age-old thing we like to do is delve into the. Am I the arsehole?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, go on what is it the Halloween? Yeah.
Speaker 3:Halloween. Halloween related Go.
Speaker 2:What's the first one Am?
Speaker 3:I the arsehole for not wanting to help my wife with Halloween costumes. My wife, 29, always makes the kids Halloween costumes. We have three kids a five-year-old, a seven-year-old and a nine-year-old. She did not have an amazing childhood and so I think she is constantly trying to make sure our kids do. She home makes every birthday cake, diys the birthday decoration, makes pajamas for every holiday, always home makes the Halloween costumes. She always does these theme monthly movie nights where she creates the whole scene. For example, this month was Coraline. She makes custom dolls for each kid's welcome home cake and the whole food spread.
Speaker 3:Jesus Christ. This is all great, but the problem is she expects me to help. All the kids are in activities. We both have full-time careers and I believe she stretches herself thin trying to do all this and also expects me to. We have the money to just go out and buy stuff, so I don't get why we have to do it all at home. She says these are things the kids will remember.
Speaker 3:Anyway, this all comes to a head and I've been out of town most of the month for work, so she's had to shoulder the full responsibility of the kids. This caused her to be behind on making the costumes and she's stressed. She was asking me if I'd be able to create one of the costumes for her. She has the supplies and can walk me through. The problem is I just don't feel like it. I told her we can go get a cheap costume, it's not a big deal. Well, she refused and was up all night finishing these costumes.
Speaker 3:I told her this morning that they looked awesome and just rolled her eyes. She was making coffee and I asked if she'd make me a cup. She replied go buy one. She's been distant and cold. I was talking to my co-worker and he called me out. Say my wife is right. My kids will remember the effort my wife put in and they'll also remember how hard I made it for her. Now I'm feeling off. Maybe I am the arsehole, but at the same time I usually do help a bit. I was thinking this one time wouldn't be a big deal, since we're both tired. So am I the arsehole?
Speaker 2:I mean, if she wants to, if it makes her happy doing all these home stuff, right, and she doesn't want to buy the costumes and stuff that's on her, like she can't. If she wants to do something, you can't expect someone else to want to do it as well. Like, if he's tired, then I don't like no, if she needs to, wants to do something, that's home stuff, that's on her, you do it. But again, if she's had the kids and you know means something special to her, if he loved her, he'll be like, yeah, okay, I'll help you. It's only this once, isn't it?
Speaker 3:but that's it. It is a one-time thing that she's asking for help. She usually takes it all on herself and she's usually I mean he's been away for a month yeah, it's like just he should just this once.
Speaker 2:Come on, let's face it.
Speaker 3:You've been away for a month. Obviously I don't know much about what this guy does. Yeah, but don't every night. He probably had time to himself and he probably could put his feet up and have a rest. He wasn't working 24 hours a day, wasn't he?
Speaker 3:sometimes, yeah, but yeah, even if he went on an oil rig, you know, they still have time on time off, you know. So he probably had his time away from the kids just to like, really have some time to himself. So he comes back, he should really be full of beans, you know, maybe he's tired from the trip. At the same time, if you did then come home to your three kids, you'd probably want to do something different yeah, 100, and be like oh, thank god, I'm not at work, yeah, sure, I'll do it. The thing that gets me is if every month, these monthly movie nights, that's a lot, that seems like a lot of effort, it's very nice and it will be memories and stuff like that. However, if she was saying like every month, like right, it's coralline this month, right, spider-man this month, right, I'd be like it's a lot, yeah, but if she wants, yeah, but if she wants, if she wants to put the work in, then that's on her.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It really annoys me sometimes when people are like that when they want to do something, they expect everyone else to want to do that, and I think I'm just like no, oh what You've gone over.
Speaker 3:Gone over You've gone over the other side.
Speaker 2:You're him.
Speaker 3:Oh shit, she wants you to be on at her level of like, let's get this done.
Speaker 2:no, no, it's just like I just understand that in life everyone's got each individual life right you want to do your thing. And if somebody wants to go play golf in the morning and that's it makes them happy, then go do it. It's the same as if somebody wants to paint a room, right if you want to paint a room, you fucking paint the room. Don't keep going on at someone to paint the room.
Speaker 3:I remember being there, you get me off on a rant here.
Speaker 2:I get what you're saying, Like I was sat in the vets once right, and there was a man and a woman that were a really cute couple, like really old, and she was like this dog stinks. I've been wanting you to bath. I think it's because I'm so used to doing everything on my own.
Speaker 3:I'm like I see it a lot in Most of the time, it's men. And I think Brie gets a good. I get stuck in. You know I'm blah, blah, blah blah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But like there's a thing called weaponised incompetence you heard about this.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 3:So it's the whole idea that, and it's something that some people do as a kid, like if your parents ask you to do something, if you do it badly yeah, they're probably not gonna ask you to do it again. Yeah, right, and men, mostly there's a lot of. The whole theory is about take it forward into being a man, right, so you get out of a lot of stuff if you make it such, if you make it such an ordeal.
Speaker 3:So, like your wife asks you to vacuum the carpet, you go oh, where's the vacuum? Oh, where does it? Go on Like is this the right setting it's meant to be? And they go, oh, fuck it, I'll just do it myself. And that's when the guy goes all right cheers and they go do something.
Speaker 3:And it's why so many man jobs around the house are always outside, because the man can then get away from the kids and kind of have a potter doing his lawn, can have a potter you know in the garden, can have a you know doing washing the cars, because you can kind of just be on your own and then the wife can do all the inside stuff whilst also having to look after the kids. The main thing I took from it really is nothing will piss a wife off more than being a project manager. So let's say there's a load of stuff on the counter.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I'm in the kitchen. Yeah. Cooking something up? Yeah, brie will go. Our dishwasher's dirty and I'll go. Yeah, alright, and I'll just do it chuck the stuff in the dishwasher, or hopefully I've already done it by the time. She even says that yeah because if, if Bree walked in and was like, oh, we need to have a tidy up, and I go, oh, what shall I do? Oh, that's ridiculous but this men are these if?
Speaker 2:you can't think when you walk in a kitchen.
Speaker 3:You can't think what to do. There's, what shall I do?
Speaker 2:I've been really lucky because my ex-boyfriends have been really like good. The only thing that does annoy me is if, like they say oh, you know, I've done this, this, this and this for you and you've not done this and I'm like wait a minute, hold up, you can't keep score, you can't keep score hold up like just there's many things that I don't do.
Speaker 3:I do sorry and I just do it. It's going on and if they don't notice it, it doesn't matter, I've just done it.
Speaker 2:I'm like, I'm not very like. I'm quite a chill person, to be fair.
Speaker 3:But like there's ways that you can just even the load, Like, while Coop's not been going all the way through the night, Brie and I just alternate nights. That's lovely, one gets a full night, the other gets you know whatever, and then you get the next night, fine and you just work out like that.
Speaker 2:I couldn't be with someone who was like right, you're going to get up every single night, and then just left me to it and slept. I couldn't.
Speaker 3:I would actually hire a nanny, it was all it was all situational right while while Bree was on maternity leave.
Speaker 2:She did because I had to go to work the next day.
Speaker 3:However, on the weekends when I didn't have work the next day, so Friday, saturday night, and it allowed for bonding with me and Coop.
Speaker 3:Obviously, I would have loved a full night's sleep seven days a week but, I, also knew that being in a house all day and then also being on minimal sleep, that's a lot of hours where you're up just losing your mind, and I know full well that I couldn't hack maternity leave. Yeah, I could not. Yeah, but I like being around my house. However, if that's your main, only option yeah, my eyebrows are caving in on myself. If that's your only option, you get stir crazy, you know.
Speaker 2:I mean I much prefer that than the stress of work where you can tell that I stress. At the minute it's busy, but like it's.
Speaker 3:It's more engaging work. You know it's like your brain's ticking over, whereas, like you, are very much at the behest of this little snot thing, and you have to, you are ruled by it, basically, and you are yeah, but ruled by the nap times and the poo poo when I was in Italy and, like you know, I've got the kids around me like Charlie and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like it's nice. They're so cute. How old are they okay six, oh, I'm, but like I yeah.
Speaker 3:I am all for shooting down the absolute nonsense that the baby's the magical time. It's not.
Speaker 2:It's not the magical time yeah, but why they just sleep when I time it's not, it's not the magical time. Yeah, but why did you sleep? Well, when I had? I was looking after louis they don't just sleep, leo, okay, okay, I was only doing it for one day so I can't really say anything, but I was looking after louis and he was fine, like he was waking up, if it was like constant for sure, but oh fuck, why?
Speaker 3:why are you? Why are you?
Speaker 2:awake. You need to mix up a little bit, wouldn't you?
Speaker 3:yeah, exactly that's what I'm saying you don't have much room for mixing much up when you've got a kid, because what you do, okay, I'll go to a sensory class or I'll go to a. Mum's in Kate I can't even cope with that. Like a happy clappy circle when all it is is performative parenting right.
Speaker 2:Gives me the ick. All it is is an opportunity for mums to be like oh, is yours not doing that yet? Oh it's such a shame. Sorry, your kid's stupid. You know people like that I just can't cope with them. I really can't. They were like oh you know, oh, look at your kid, look at my kid, fuck off. By the time they're 18, they're all going to be the same anyway well, that's it.
Speaker 3:That's it thinking to the parents' head. Why would you even stress them out by saying that, to be honest, the people that are even worse than the parents are the grandparents. Oh shit, like my parents are bloody nightmares for it, right? So when you're in like a plain sailing bit of having a kid and you're like this is all right. Yeah, old people and grandparents which? Aren't the same thing necessarily will always be ready with the. You just wait. It's like, just let me have this moment, all right. Oh, the sleep's due tonight are they?
Speaker 3:You just wait until they're trying to get in your bed at night.
Speaker 2:It's like right, okay, well yeah, fine, I tell you what. Let's have some surprises.
Speaker 3:Let me have one surprise. Oh you, just, oh you, wait until they're learning to stand. Is he walking yet, and you? Go oh yeah, he's trying, they go. You just wait till he's running about tearing the place apart. It's like can you just let him be a kid yeah, just, let us just embrace the moment.
Speaker 2:Also, we don't know if he's going to tear the place apart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's actually quite a gentle boy, yeah he throws a few things, but he's a little sensitive.
Speaker 2:People like that.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's all the time, it's like that.
Speaker 2:In everything, though, people are so like. Are you having a good time?
Speaker 3:Imagine if it was shit. Imagine this time. But it's bad, that's what's coming, it's happening.
Speaker 2:What did we put on our story? Because we put some things on our story, didn't we? About Halloween.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so let me take my gloves off.
Speaker 2:I've not actually had a lot seen what people have thought.
Speaker 3:So what we did is, you did some. You posed us some very interesting questions. Why?
Speaker 2:What did we do?
Speaker 3:Oh hello, we've just had one Literally.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Just had one in right, so this is in response to what's your best scary story. Oh, shit, I'm glad we're ending the night on this, okay. Oh, we got double response. Okay, so this is the response. This is Victoria Gadsby.
Speaker 2:Oh, here she is, Victoria.
Speaker 3:Responding to the scary story so, which I have not read. At uni, one of my friends was staying at mine after a night out. I woke up randomly and she was bolt upright in bed and said that there's a woman there dressed all in black. I remember saying you're okay, hon, because, darling, I will point blank not accept that there's a lady from Victorian England haunting my uni room. Then my friend turned around and went back to sleep. I, however, stayed awake all night, terrified. My friend never stayed around after a night out again. Where did she go to, don't know? Because, like if she went to uni in like Warwick or something like that, that's a creepy place wait, what did she go to uni in Derby?
Speaker 2:oh my god, I'm so bad? I don't know, I've been wait oh.
Speaker 3:I can't even message her if she went to uni in Derby, it would make sense, kind of she used to live in Stafford. That's where her parents are from Staffordshire, is Shakespeare country right I?
Speaker 2:don't feel like she went to uni there, though, Victoria. I'm so sorry, Victoria, mate.
Speaker 3:Charlotte's not a real friend.
Speaker 2:No, I can't remember. Stop it.
Speaker 3:So, victoria, you'll have to let us know where you went to uni, because if you went to uni in Warwick, I'd be like, yeah, fair enough, loads of people died there. But if you went to uni in Milton Keynes, I'd be like there's likelihood that a woman in a Victorian dress is going to be chilling. But if Victoria has done the same thing that I said I'd do if I saw something creepy, I'd be like I'm not giving it any fucking attention, roll over and then just look away from it.
Speaker 2:What else did we get on the? Because we did some polls didn't we?
Speaker 3:I don't want to keep putting the gloves back on.
Speaker 2:What were the answers on the polls?
Speaker 3:So the polls. Were you smoking something when you were putting these out?
Speaker 2:What are you trying?
Speaker 3:to say Would you rather fight one horse-sized pumpkin or a hundred tiny zombies doing the cha-cha? You smackhead what's going on.
Speaker 2:Well, which one would you do? Which one was I? The popular one.
Speaker 3:For some reason, everyone went with a hundred tiny zombies doing the cha-cha. So 69% of people Went with 100 tiny zombies Doing the cha-cha, which is insane, because one horse sized pumpkin Would be so easy to beat I mean, really It'd be like a bloody, yeah. But it can't move. It's still a pumpkin.
Speaker 2:It's got no arms, no limbs, yeah but it would hurt If you punched it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but you could have weapons Right what's? Yeah, but it would hurt If you punched her. Yeah, but you could have weapons Right. What's the stipulations Of this fight? Is it bare?
Speaker 2:knuckle Right. So there that one, there's a hundred Tiny zombies.
Speaker 3:Tiny zombie bites. You're still a zombie.
Speaker 2:You're still going to be a zombie.
Speaker 3:There he is Come on you people A little bit of Critical thinking please. So what was the other poll? You found them.
Speaker 2:Right. We want to hear what truly haunts you in your 30s. What's more haunting unfulfilled dreams or fear of trying something new?
Speaker 3:Do I Right? I'd like you all to know that Charlotte's in charge of our social media account?
Speaker 2:Not really, no, you've actually. You're helping me as well.
Speaker 3:I post some clips from time to time. However, when it comes to these questions, I knew, when I saw what's more haunting for you, that there was going to be some existential dread involved in it, and obviously because everyone's 30 and panicking 90 of people, is it? Yeah, 90 went with unfulfilled dreams, fucking hell.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's so sad, I know, don't yeah skip.
Speaker 3:That has made me the zombies.
Speaker 2:Right. Do you identify more with a witch or a ghost Witch? I'm empowered and in control. A ghost I'm just floating along. And the ghost I'm just floating along that 67% of people just said they're floating.
Speaker 3:So we've got a load of listeners who are just flowing along. Yeah, but do you flowing along not filling their dreams?
Speaker 2:yeah, but do you feel like you're? Do you feel like you're filling your dreams? Yeah, sweet, I love that. Okay, and you feel you're a witch and you're empowered and in control? Yeah, you are pretty much, aren't you?
Speaker 3:yeah, relatively, I guess, as in control as anyone can be in this life of fate yeah, there you go, then you're you're winning but there's a few people, obviously, you know, is that?
Speaker 2:look at me, I'm in control it's like it's a typical thing though, isn't it to be fair, right? Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, think I've seen one. Oh shit, oh, lol, nope. Yes, but never seen one. So there was a bit of a a tie. Yes, I think I've seen one and yes, but never seen one. So, yes, the yeses have it 36, and people said, yeah, I think I've seen one and yes, but never seen one.
Speaker 3:So, yes, the yeses have it 36% of people said yeah, I think I've seen one. I mean it was heavily weighted to the yeses. You only left one no option.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but how can you say no? But I have seen one.
Speaker 3:No, but I've heard about them Because everyone thinks they've seen a ghost.
Speaker 2:Wow, wow. 27% of people, in fact, 36% of people and 27% what's that? So there's a few, yeah it comes up to 100% and then the last one. Obviously we've already spoke about that. Would you rather fight one horse sized pumpkin or 100%?
Speaker 3:and what is it? How many people went with the zombies? Zombies, oh sorry, 69% guys, come on, let's put our heads together for a second and think about this.
Speaker 2:Oh no, actually my cousin Julia. She voted for one horse-sized pumpkin. Thank you.
Speaker 3:Julia, little Julia. Julia. Thank you, I'm glad. I'm glad someone I'm distantly related to has some common sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Come on, guys.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? Oh, caddick, laura, caddick thinks she's seen one.
Speaker 3:Laura Caddick, you're spooky.
Speaker 2:Spooky girl. Oh yeah, there's a few of this as well.
Speaker 3:Why are you not Okay?
Speaker 2:sorry, I was just. You're leaving me with a bated breath here as you go through these, sorry, very, as you go through these Very interesting stuff, I'm sat here as an unaware wolf, I guess, because you're not telling me anything. But no, that's yeah. I always find them funny when I look at people's results and like responses and stuff.
Speaker 3:You sound like a crazy person.
Speaker 2:What with a pole? I love a pole.
Speaker 3:No, poles are fine. Right, you know, you know, but Horse-sized pumpkin.
Speaker 2:You and this horse-sized pumpkin, it's men's all.
Speaker 3:Why it should be a landslide, so that everyone beat the shit out of the pumpkin.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, if you could do a poll, then what would you do? Poll on.
Speaker 3:On the spot right now Halloween. Halloween poll. Are you going? Are you dressing up for Halloween? Oh, that's boring.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:Yes, I love it. No, it's stupid.
Speaker 2:That's beige. You know it's beige.
Speaker 3:It says us right now Looking like these Absolute tits. I'm probably going to reuse this outfit. I reckon Are you going to reuse that one, putting a lot of effort, maybe, maybe not. I'm just hoping this gets off my face because I was going to go to the gym.
Speaker 2:Wait, really, yeah On the stepper, just wear it, fuck it.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? Wear it.
Speaker 2:Well, just keep your mask on, you'll be fine. Keep your hair coming out.
Speaker 3:I've barely been able to sit in this chair with it out itching and sticking up my nose. Sorry, this is one for the ladies.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know, yeah, I might wear it. Might wear it to work for a meeting, why not?
Speaker 3:I look like one of the baddies from Home Alone yeah you do, yeah, you do like Macaulay Culkin yeah blown up an oven in my face and I've just come out going yeah, you do.
Speaker 2:To be fair, oh, my hair would have to be like that though. So, jesus Christ, so are you going to go to the gym or not?
Speaker 3:no, that's fine.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go wash my face and we hope you all have the best Halloween enjoy, get spooky, get fun send us any stories of anything fun that you get up to. Yeah, and have a great one. Thanks for listening and we'll see you soon. Bye, ciao, ciao, ciao thanks for listening.
Speaker 1:We know time is precious and we thank you for yours. Please like and subscribe and we'll see you next week.
